Memoirs of a Power Rafter
“Aag Se Khelna” a statement glorified from my VESIT years...worship the unnatural; carry out activities which fall into the far end of the imbecility spectrum. A reunion of my undergrad memories brings to fore such actions…correctly typifying the above statement. So equipped with a Level I rapid experience (with a couple of glorified losers at Letchworth Ntl. Park), hydrophobia and zilch swimming skills, I still had the stomach to face the Cheat river. When I told my buddy Vivek about the idea, he completely freaked out….these were his exact words “Bala bathroom mein nahaneko hi fat thi hai…udhar jaake main Rapid Stilling karne wala hoon!!!”
Nevertheless off we went in 2 separate cars to counter the raging River. As destiny wud have it we never got a chance to meet the other group…whatever be the reasons…but fate was benevolent…for once. A reasonably uneventful drive took us to West Virginia…the only noteworthy incident being the speeding ticket that we got (my car now has the unenviable distinction of having got a ticket both times when we went rafting!). Having reached the place we had no clue of where the rest of the gang were…no cell fone signal u see (I have to admit here that an IR port doesn’t help in such situations). The wait was killing us…so were the rest of the ppl who were waiting for Capt.Marwadi & Co. (or shud I say Capt.Proxy & Co.).
They finally made a call and put us on to the raft (though had to endure the usual rafting technical mumbo-jumbos). With Rupil and urs truly at the front end of the raft (apparently the power paddlers), Srikant in the middle (to avoid raft toppling over) followed by Ajju, Viv and the guides, we set sail on the hallowed waters. Since I was right at the front, the sonic fury of the water totally cut me off from our guides instructions. Sri used to chip in his bit by repeating to the guys in front what the instructor said. A second late, we wud have all gone swimming….thats y Sri’s part was extremely crucial.
Waddling through calm waters initially, swatting gargantuan horseflies and psyching ourselves up to face the uncertainties that Mother Nature had in store for us, we reached the First Rapid ‘The Big Nasty’.
Big Nasty: (Level5) The first Rapid and really a Nasty one at that. Our guide’s psychogenic talks really helped us in a way to bear the onslaught the river had to offer. The Big Nasty was nothing but a hole that sucked objects towards itself and spat them right out towards a huge rock…that was the scary part u think…no sir. We cudnt see the rapid at all in the first place coz it was at a place where the river turned right (u take a right and viola…ur there swimming/gasping and hoping God gives u another day!)…this made it all the more dangerous. The trick here was to keep the raft at an angle and avoid the hole by taking a left.
With feet deeply rooted in the raft…paddles cutting through the skin of the water and pounding hearts we took the turn. Within no time we realized that we had ‘hagged’ badly and found ourselves right in the hole. The raft was quivering like an autumn leaf on a decrepit oak tree. This is when our instructor screamed…’don’t panic…row harder…more Horsepower!!!’. And guess what…we did just that and absolutely CREAMED the Big Nasty. A bunch of abt 20 ppl standing on top of the rock that I was talking abt cheering us on at every motion of our paddles…real adrenaline pumper that un! High-fives, shoulder charges and hugs all around…it surely was a helluva confidence booster tonic. After our raft, none of the rafts made it…a few broken noses and busted ankles galore. Bring on the other Rapids baby!
Even Nastier: (Level4) Yeh that was the name of the next rapid. A pieca cake according to me after the Big nasty. Twas a level 4 rapid and after a level 5 rapid, it felt as smooth as the creamiest “tiramisu”!!
Rooster Tail: (Level 5) This was easily the most enjoyable Rapid of em all. The water level drops abt 10 feet and rises up again giving a roller-coaster feel to the entire experience. Its called the Rooster tail coz as the water rises up from the crest, the force of the water splashing takes the shape of a Rooster’s tail. Awesome experience and ofcourse no casualties again.
Middle and Lower Coliseum: (Level 5) Ahh this is where the fun part starts. A set of 2 quick rapids within touching distance of each other. Our guide had warned us that if u screw up on the first un, the 2nd wud killya. But as luck wud have, we (I to be precise)did just that…fucked up real bad. Cudnt hear shit that the instructor said and completely froze. Rupil saw me doing nothing and screamed at me….now that really stirred the Hornet’s nest. Both Power paddlers were screaming on top of their lungs with the Rapid a few feet away from us.
As we hit the rapid, call it sleight of hand or twist of fate, Srikant was thrown out of the raft. The buoyancy that was created yanked the instructor out of the raft too… ‘Eureka’!
This is where the genius of a man called Vivek Shekar comes in. Instead of offering his hand or his paddle, he throws his paddle towards Srikant…’Le Pakad’… another cult dialogue from the bevda. U shudve seen Srikant’s face at that point in time…the expression was priceless…zoink!
The rest of the rapids weren’t as eventful…except for Rupil’s foolish bravado that had him almost swallowed by the rapids…water water everywhere and all u cud do was drink!
After 3 hrs of pure mayhem, we finally reached the shore. Rafts had cut our skin real deep and the mucky shore waters were kissing our fresh flesh. Trudging along, barely managing to carry our dead limbs and sore butts we reached the bus to take us back to the office. White water rafting is a thrilling, adrenaline pumping activity and I wud seriously recommend that to Freaks who haven’t tried it yet. As I look back at the experience, I have muddled thoughts in my mind…thoughts of fear, pleasure, anxiety and satisfaction. And given a choice I wud be out there again defying gravity and flouting the raging river…
Ash to Ash…Dust to Dust…Fade to Black…But the Memory remains!
Thursday, June 03, 2004
This is really interesting..
Consider any list of numbers that was obtained from the financial
records of a corporate, or from geographic, scientific and
demographic data.It comes as a great surprise that, if the numbers
under investigation are not entirely random but somehow socially or
naturally related, the distribution of the first digit is not
uniform but the following: 1 will be the first digit about 30% of
cases, 2 will come up in about 18% of cases, 3 in 12%, 4 in 9%, 5
in 8%, etc.
For the more mathematically inclined - the first digit, D, appears
with the frequency proportional to log (1 + 1/D).This is known as
Benford's Law.
The astonishing fact is that this law is correct for ANY list of
meaningful numbers that are socially or naturally related. It also
astonishing that none disputes it or offers a competing law related
to digits.
The law was discovered by the American astronomer Simon Newcomb in
1881 who noticed that the first few pages of his logarithm tables
books were more worn than the last few and from this he surmised
that he was consulting the first pages-which gave the logs of
numbers with low digits-more often
In 1938, Frank Benford arrived at the same formula after a
comprehensive investigation of listings of data covering a variety
of natural phenomena.
In 1961 Roger Pinkham discovered an interesting property of the
Benford's probabilities.It turned out that these probabilities
(i.e. 30%, 18%, 12%, in 9%, 8%, etc) are scale invariant. In other
words, if a set of numbers followed Benford's law closely, and if
all the numbers in the set were multiplied by a nonzero constant
(such as 22.04 or 0.323), then the new set of numbers would also
follow Benford's law closely. Only the probabilities of Benford's
law had this amazing property.
This scale invariance explains why Benford's law works on financial
data throughout the world, even though the data are expressed in
different currencies.
Benford's law has surprising applications in financial fraud
detection. Because human choices are not random, invented numbers
are unlikely to follow Benford's law.
The interesting thing is that the more the deceivers try to make
their acts look random the easier it is for CPA's using Beford's
law to expose them.
Dr. Theodore P. Hill asks his mathematics students at the Georgia
Institute of Technology to go home and either flip a coin 200 times
and record the results, or merely pretend to flip a coin and fake
200 results. The following day he runs his eye over the homework
data, and to the students' amazement, he easily fingers nearly all
those who faked their tosses.
A person trying to fake 200 flips of a coin would never list 6 or
more series of the same side although in true randomness these
series have a quite high probability of occurrence.
Consider any list of numbers that was obtained from the financial
records of a corporate, or from geographic, scientific and
demographic data.It comes as a great surprise that, if the numbers
under investigation are not entirely random but somehow socially or
naturally related, the distribution of the first digit is not
uniform but the following: 1 will be the first digit about 30% of
cases, 2 will come up in about 18% of cases, 3 in 12%, 4 in 9%, 5
in 8%, etc.
For the more mathematically inclined - the first digit, D, appears
with the frequency proportional to log (1 + 1/D).This is known as
Benford's Law.
The astonishing fact is that this law is correct for ANY list of
meaningful numbers that are socially or naturally related. It also
astonishing that none disputes it or offers a competing law related
to digits.
The law was discovered by the American astronomer Simon Newcomb in
1881 who noticed that the first few pages of his logarithm tables
books were more worn than the last few and from this he surmised
that he was consulting the first pages-which gave the logs of
numbers with low digits-more often
In 1938, Frank Benford arrived at the same formula after a
comprehensive investigation of listings of data covering a variety
of natural phenomena.
In 1961 Roger Pinkham discovered an interesting property of the
Benford's probabilities.It turned out that these probabilities
(i.e. 30%, 18%, 12%, in 9%, 8%, etc) are scale invariant. In other
words, if a set of numbers followed Benford's law closely, and if
all the numbers in the set were multiplied by a nonzero constant
(such as 22.04 or 0.323), then the new set of numbers would also
follow Benford's law closely. Only the probabilities of Benford's
law had this amazing property.
This scale invariance explains why Benford's law works on financial
data throughout the world, even though the data are expressed in
different currencies.
Benford's law has surprising applications in financial fraud
detection. Because human choices are not random, invented numbers
are unlikely to follow Benford's law.
The interesting thing is that the more the deceivers try to make
their acts look random the easier it is for CPA's using Beford's
law to expose them.
Dr. Theodore P. Hill asks his mathematics students at the Georgia
Institute of Technology to go home and either flip a coin 200 times
and record the results, or merely pretend to flip a coin and fake
200 results. The following day he runs his eye over the homework
data, and to the students' amazement, he easily fingers nearly all
those who faked their tosses.
A person trying to fake 200 flips of a coin would never list 6 or
more series of the same side although in true randomness these
series have a quite high probability of occurrence.
Wednesday, June 02, 2004
A SAILOR'S (B)LOG
Fellow crew ,
Now that we are back in calm waters I thought I'd
let you know that I had a great time on board. The worst moments turn out
to be the ones best remembered.
Had it not been for the Captain's misjugdement I am sure I would
have had a few broken bones today. Even though I was upset in the
beginning, in the end i was quite relieved at having rafted a class lower.
The first few minutes "on the water" were literarlly for most of us "in
the water".. Our most experienced boatsman was slightly....what i would
call..... totally confused...and so was our loudest sailor "check Vishal
check"....he won't admit it but he was as confused as our veteran.
When three of them went overboard...i dug my feet deeper in the raft.. So
deep that I couldnt fall over even if the raft capsized.
After the first major calamity...Vishal and Aarti were so shaken that they
were most happy to jump rite into the centre of the raft the moment we
experienced the slightiest turbulance....And when Captain decided that he
had to be one up over the rest and went overboard the second time..it
didn't frighten me at first cause it all seemed to be one thrilling game
...till he kept going and it seemed that he would chrash into the
rocks...saved by a kind indian soul he was once again back ...smiling
sheepishly and claiming that he didnt freak out...Vishal and Aarti were all
the more determined to stay in the boat and I guess i was the most ..
...The most memorable was Anadi's emotionally loaded lecture when Anubhav
went in for a dip....he just yelled ...as if we had all conspired to throw
him over ....anyway when he calmed down ..he spoke maybe the most
thought provoking words of the trip ...."Right now nothing is right
nothing is wrong....." The rest of our trip flew "rapidly"....pun not
intended :)...with me getting "totally wet like after 2 hours " ....and
vishal and anadi SHREiKing "r we there yet ? " every few minutes...
all in all I had a good time and hey Anadi the seat belts in no way meant
to reflect ur driving...u did a really good job.
Hope we all get to do it one more time...hopefully we'd remember the action
for forward and backward by then....
-Nicolle
Fellow crew ,
Now that we are back in calm waters I thought I'd
let you know that I had a great time on board. The worst moments turn out
to be the ones best remembered.
Had it not been for the Captain's misjugdement I am sure I would
have had a few broken bones today. Even though I was upset in the
beginning, in the end i was quite relieved at having rafted a class lower.
The first few minutes "on the water" were literarlly for most of us "in
the water".. Our most experienced boatsman was slightly....what i would
call..... totally confused...and so was our loudest sailor "check Vishal
check"....he won't admit it but he was as confused as our veteran.
When three of them went overboard...i dug my feet deeper in the raft.. So
deep that I couldnt fall over even if the raft capsized.
After the first major calamity...Vishal and Aarti were so shaken that they
were most happy to jump rite into the centre of the raft the moment we
experienced the slightiest turbulance....And when Captain decided that he
had to be one up over the rest and went overboard the second time..it
didn't frighten me at first cause it all seemed to be one thrilling game
...till he kept going and it seemed that he would chrash into the
rocks...saved by a kind indian soul he was once again back ...smiling
sheepishly and claiming that he didnt freak out...Vishal and Aarti were all
the more determined to stay in the boat and I guess i was the most ..
...The most memorable was Anadi's emotionally loaded lecture when Anubhav
went in for a dip....he just yelled ...as if we had all conspired to throw
him over ....anyway when he calmed down ..he spoke maybe the most
thought provoking words of the trip ...."Right now nothing is right
nothing is wrong....." The rest of our trip flew "rapidly"....pun not
intended :)...with me getting "totally wet like after 2 hours " ....and
vishal and anadi SHREiKing "r we there yet ? " every few minutes...
all in all I had a good time and hey Anadi the seat belts in no way meant
to reflect ur driving...u did a really good job.
Hope we all get to do it one more time...hopefully we'd remember the action
for forward and backward by then....
-Nicolle
I will paste somethings in Vedanta which was analyzed by my friend which is pretty clearly indicative that Swami Vivekananda was perfectly right. In particular reference to what Balls has asked .For once I disagree with his views
* Balls' quote :
1."Everything in the world is good, is holy and beautiful"-think abt it ... were the English good when they plundered our rich country? Is Conversion holy?
2."If you see something evil, think that you are not understanding it in the right light"-Cant be more ridiculous...i see someone being ruthless murdered...does he expect me see the good in that?
3."Throw the burden on yourselves!"-Y shud i do that when sumone else has machiavellian instincts
Underlying Concept: The world can be called as a dream. The world exists in the mind. When our mind stops working the world does not exist for us (eg. SLEEP). Mind is temporary and when a person has realized God his mind dissolves. So when the mind is dead then where is the question of this world. Does this world exist for a person who is in deep Samadhi. The only thing he sees is God, Divine light, bliss.
To answer Balls' question : If we are all God’s divine pieces, we do not need him at all. If whole world is pervading Brahma, there should be no hell, no war, no problems, no pain.
Answer : Why cant Brahma manifest itself as pain, suffering and problem. Why does it always have to manifest itself as pleasure, happiness, peace. As long as you see pleasure, you will see pain. Once your are above pleasure, then pain wont also affect you. Again all these are the states of the body and the soul is pure.
Nainam chhindanti shastraani, nainam dahati paavakah,
Na cha enam kledayanti aapah, na shoshayati maarutah".This is a shlok from the Geeta describing the soul. Pain and Pleasure mean nothing for a realized person. If you ask this same question to an advaitist he will say “War, problems and pain belong to your body and this world. When there is no world then where is the question of all these things”
I know I am not well read on this issue but I am trying to be.Though it is a totally spiritual perspective of viewing at the question I think it qualifies as an answer.
* Balls' quote :
1."Everything in the world is good, is holy and beautiful"-think abt it ... were the English good when they plundered our rich country? Is Conversion holy?
2."If you see something evil, think that you are not understanding it in the right light"-Cant be more ridiculous...i see someone being ruthless murdered...does he expect me see the good in that?
3."Throw the burden on yourselves!"-Y shud i do that when sumone else has machiavellian instincts
Underlying Concept: The world can be called as a dream. The world exists in the mind. When our mind stops working the world does not exist for us (eg. SLEEP). Mind is temporary and when a person has realized God his mind dissolves. So when the mind is dead then where is the question of this world. Does this world exist for a person who is in deep Samadhi. The only thing he sees is God, Divine light, bliss.
To answer Balls' question : If we are all God’s divine pieces, we do not need him at all. If whole world is pervading Brahma, there should be no hell, no war, no problems, no pain.
Answer : Why cant Brahma manifest itself as pain, suffering and problem. Why does it always have to manifest itself as pleasure, happiness, peace. As long as you see pleasure, you will see pain. Once your are above pleasure, then pain wont also affect you. Again all these are the states of the body and the soul is pure.
Nainam chhindanti shastraani, nainam dahati paavakah,
Na cha enam kledayanti aapah, na shoshayati maarutah".This is a shlok from the Geeta describing the soul. Pain and Pleasure mean nothing for a realized person. If you ask this same question to an advaitist he will say “War, problems and pain belong to your body and this world. When there is no world then where is the question of all these things”
I know I am not well read on this issue but I am trying to be.Though it is a totally spiritual perspective of viewing at the question I think it qualifies as an answer.
Tuesday, June 01, 2004
Found this on the web. really interesting.. Lotsa ppl may not agree on this. I atleast know of one.
"It is our own mental attitude which makes the world what it is for us. Our thoughts make things beautiful, our thoughts make things ugly. The whole world is in our own minds. Learn to see things in the proper light. First, believe in this world — that there is meaning behind everything. Everything in the world is good, is holy and beautiful. If you see something evil, think that you are not understanding it in the right light. Throw the burden on yourselves! ... Whenever we are tempted to say that the world is going to the dogs, we ought to analyse ourselves, and we shall find that we have lost the faculty of seeing things as they are." - the greatest personality ever born.. big V.
"It is our own mental attitude which makes the world what it is for us. Our thoughts make things beautiful, our thoughts make things ugly. The whole world is in our own minds. Learn to see things in the proper light. First, believe in this world — that there is meaning behind everything. Everything in the world is good, is holy and beautiful. If you see something evil, think that you are not understanding it in the right light. Throw the burden on yourselves! ... Whenever we are tempted to say that the world is going to the dogs, we ought to analyse ourselves, and we shall find that we have lost the faculty of seeing things as they are." - the greatest personality ever born.. big V.
Monday, May 31, 2004
Memoire of my "Near Death Experience" (Or Shd I say Near Life Experience.)
(After the loads of hotlinks I have pestered u with, finally I have decided to write another one of my boring posts.)
Making a small bit of event setup before we go ahead.
Event-- White water rafting at Cheat River, Class 4-5
People -- Freaks.
Date -- Sunday, May 30, 2004.
Time -- To be leaving Baltimore 630 am Indian Standard Time :-)
Indian Standard Time denotes something and we did not let down its repute one bit. Wanting to leave at 630 , ended up leaving arnd 730. The journey was supposed to be a three hr drive without getting lost (Well, which by Murphy's law is an inevitability for us).
But we did make it arnd 1030 to Cheat river, now starts the real fun. We did not exactly know the name of the tour operator we were going with. Also with none of the cell phones catching any sort of ntwk, communicating with the other grp was impossible.
So started our fight to find the right place and I may say, that as usual I screwed up again. We saw a party getting ready to board and I boarded down to make sure if it was the ones we were supposed to go with.Not finding any of our frnds waiting for us outside, We decided that this wasn't the one and we moved ahead.After abt 45min of searching arnd the place, we finally came to know that the aforementioned place was infact the one and we had missed our frnds who were already on the trip.(Hugely disappointed were a couple of ppl, Anadi -- Cursing himself for the screwup where I shd be taking more of the blame for the same, Aarti -- Guess was bored with our jokes :-)) No more trips were scheduled for that afternoon. But the operator trasnferred us to another place in Ohiopyle..(Class 3-4).
Think that turned a blessing in disguise for us. With the two girls alongwith us already prety damn scared of rafting(especially at Class 4-5), I think Class 3-4 was just perfect.
So it starts off -- Usual routine of introductions, safety equipment, instructions ....
Myself made the captain of the team (Many wouldn't contest that this was the worst decision made collectively).
My Team --
Vishal -- First timer scared of water.
Anadi -- Buckles under pressure ;-) (and plainly keeps shouting Check,Check !!!)
Aarti -- Only one with certified rowing experience :-)
Nicolle -- Doesnt wanna get wet while white water rafting. Finally came out to be the remote control captain(Sonia ishtyle ;-), with me in Doc's seat) for the raft.
A Bad Start:- With a captain like me and the crew absolutely confused abt what to do, we werent expecting a great start but it was worse than we cud have imagined. Through the first set of rapids , our raft almost overturned with three of us including myself finding oursleves swimming in the cold rapids. Though the boat flung me out into the water, I somehow managed to hold on to the raft, and goli doing a great job pulling me inside. The two others left out were Vishal and Aarti. With Aarti getting a hold of an instructors Kayak, she was safe. But Vishal was still reeling arnd in the water with no support and his lack of knowledge of swimming (like mine) making it tougher for him to stay afloat(even with our lifejackets on). But eventually Anadi did mange to pull him inside with me pulling Aarti inside(that was a tougher job than it sounds). So everybody safe and sound (well, not exactly sound with Vishal reeling with bruises and both of em psychologically scarred ;-))
Couple of Rapids Ahead , I came to encounter my Near Life Experience. Somehow I managed to fall out of the raft in a pretty fast rapid. Could not hold on to myself and was reeling in the water with my specs falling over and the helmet falling over my head. Unable to see, water going into my lungs, absolutely out of breath.(Thats how u feel when u r drowning ;-)Went that way for a more than a couple of dips and the rapid was really quick. A good Samaritan (a desi coincidentally) somehow managed to come near to me in his raft and tried to pull me in , but while doing so we went trhough another rapid and this time his raft and my back completely banged into a rock. But he held onto me. Then another raft came closeby and pulled me inside their raft. At one point of time I was holding onto both the rafts an heading straight into a rock , but i guess commonsense prevailed inside me :-)
What did I experience -- Fear (Oh yea, was scared to hell for a moment). Not exactly sure if it was death that I was scared of. But then it was only abt survival. And I also have to say I somehow enjoyed that fight for survival.Trying to keep myself above the water was the toughest part :-)
Rest of the ride was relatively uneventful with us completing other rapids relatively successfully. I think the event instilled in us a sense of urgency which led to our success and better coordination in latter stages.
This probably was as close as I would get to a Near-Life Experience as Tyler wud call it.
I am sure other ppl will have a lot to say bt the day. Keep the posts and comments flowing.
(After the loads of hotlinks I have pestered u with, finally I have decided to write another one of my boring posts.)
Making a small bit of event setup before we go ahead.
Event-- White water rafting at Cheat River, Class 4-5
People -- Freaks.
Date -- Sunday, May 30, 2004.
Time -- To be leaving Baltimore 630 am Indian Standard Time :-)
Indian Standard Time denotes something and we did not let down its repute one bit. Wanting to leave at 630 , ended up leaving arnd 730. The journey was supposed to be a three hr drive without getting lost (Well, which by Murphy's law is an inevitability for us).
But we did make it arnd 1030 to Cheat river, now starts the real fun. We did not exactly know the name of the tour operator we were going with. Also with none of the cell phones catching any sort of ntwk, communicating with the other grp was impossible.
So started our fight to find the right place and I may say, that as usual I screwed up again. We saw a party getting ready to board and I boarded down to make sure if it was the ones we were supposed to go with.Not finding any of our frnds waiting for us outside, We decided that this wasn't the one and we moved ahead.After abt 45min of searching arnd the place, we finally came to know that the aforementioned place was infact the one and we had missed our frnds who were already on the trip.(Hugely disappointed were a couple of ppl, Anadi -- Cursing himself for the screwup where I shd be taking more of the blame for the same, Aarti -- Guess was bored with our jokes :-)) No more trips were scheduled for that afternoon. But the operator trasnferred us to another place in Ohiopyle..(Class 3-4).
Think that turned a blessing in disguise for us. With the two girls alongwith us already prety damn scared of rafting(especially at Class 4-5), I think Class 3-4 was just perfect.
So it starts off -- Usual routine of introductions, safety equipment, instructions ....
Myself made the captain of the team (Many wouldn't contest that this was the worst decision made collectively).
My Team --
Vishal -- First timer scared of water.
Anadi -- Buckles under pressure ;-) (and plainly keeps shouting Check,Check !!!)
Aarti -- Only one with certified rowing experience :-)
Nicolle -- Doesnt wanna get wet while white water rafting. Finally came out to be the remote control captain(Sonia ishtyle ;-), with me in Doc's seat) for the raft.
A Bad Start:- With a captain like me and the crew absolutely confused abt what to do, we werent expecting a great start but it was worse than we cud have imagined. Through the first set of rapids , our raft almost overturned with three of us including myself finding oursleves swimming in the cold rapids. Though the boat flung me out into the water, I somehow managed to hold on to the raft, and goli doing a great job pulling me inside. The two others left out were Vishal and Aarti. With Aarti getting a hold of an instructors Kayak, she was safe. But Vishal was still reeling arnd in the water with no support and his lack of knowledge of swimming (like mine) making it tougher for him to stay afloat(even with our lifejackets on). But eventually Anadi did mange to pull him inside with me pulling Aarti inside(that was a tougher job than it sounds). So everybody safe and sound (well, not exactly sound with Vishal reeling with bruises and both of em psychologically scarred ;-))
Couple of Rapids Ahead , I came to encounter my Near Life Experience. Somehow I managed to fall out of the raft in a pretty fast rapid. Could not hold on to myself and was reeling in the water with my specs falling over and the helmet falling over my head. Unable to see, water going into my lungs, absolutely out of breath.(Thats how u feel when u r drowning ;-)Went that way for a more than a couple of dips and the rapid was really quick. A good Samaritan (a desi coincidentally) somehow managed to come near to me in his raft and tried to pull me in , but while doing so we went trhough another rapid and this time his raft and my back completely banged into a rock. But he held onto me. Then another raft came closeby and pulled me inside their raft. At one point of time I was holding onto both the rafts an heading straight into a rock , but i guess commonsense prevailed inside me :-)
What did I experience -- Fear (Oh yea, was scared to hell for a moment). Not exactly sure if it was death that I was scared of. But then it was only abt survival. And I also have to say I somehow enjoyed that fight for survival.Trying to keep myself above the water was the toughest part :-)
Rest of the ride was relatively uneventful with us completing other rapids relatively successfully. I think the event instilled in us a sense of urgency which led to our success and better coordination in latter stages.
This probably was as close as I would get to a Near-Life Experience as Tyler wud call it.
I am sure other ppl will have a lot to say bt the day. Keep the posts and comments flowing.
Thursday, May 27, 2004
Guys believe me this is a freakin riot....brilliant....
"The Travails of Single South Indian men of conservative upbringing" or "Why we don't get any..."
Yet another action packed weekend in Mumbai, full of fun, frolic and introspection. I have learnt many things. For example having money when none of your friends have any is as good as not having any. And after spending
much time in movie theatres, cafes and restaurants I have gathered many insights into the endless monotony that is the love life of south Indian men. What I have unearthed is most disheartening. Disheartening because comprehension of these truths will not change our status anytime soon. However there is also cause for joy. We never stood a chance anyway. What loads the dice against virile, gallant, well educated, good looking, sincere mallus and tams? (Kanadus were once among us, but Bangalore has changed all that.)
Our futures are shot to hell as soon as our parents bestow upon us names that are anything but alluring. I cannot imagine a more foolproof way of making sure the child remains single till classified advertisements or that
maternal uncle in San Francisco thinks otherwise. Name him "Parthasarathy Venkatachalapthy" and his inherent capability to combat celibacy is obliterated before he could even talk. He will grow to be known as Partha. Before he knows,his smart,seductively named northy classmates start calling him Paratha. No woman in their right minds will go anyway near poor Parthasarathy. His investment banking job doesn't help either. His employer loves him though. He has no personal life you see. By this time the Sanjay Singhs and Bobby Khans from his class have small businesses of their own and spend 60% of their lives in discos and pubs. The remaining 40% is spent coochicooing with leather and denim clad muses in their penthouse flats on Nepean Sea Road. Business is safely in
the hands of the Mallu manager. After all with a name like Blossom Babykutty he cant use his 30000 salary anywhere. Blossom gave up on society when in school they automatically enrolled him for Cookery Classes. Along
with all the girls.
Yes my dear reader, nomenclature is the first nail in a coffin of neglect and hormonal pandemonium. In a kinder world they would just name the poor southern male child and throw him off the balcony. "Yes appa we have named him
Goundamani..." THUD. Life would have been less kinder to him anyway.
If all the women the Upadhyays, Kumars, Pintos and, god forbid, the Sens and Roys in the world have met were distributed amongst the Arunkumars, Vadukuts and Chandramogans we would all be merry casanovas with 3 to 4 pretty
things at each arm. But alas it is not to be. Of course the south Indian women have no such issues. They have names which are like sweet poetry to the ravenous northie hormone tanks. Picture this: "Welcome, and this is my family. This is my daughter Poorni (what a sweet name!!) and my son Ponnalagusamy (er.. hello..).." Cyanide would not be fast enough for poor Samy. Nothing Samy does will help him. He can pump iron, drive fast cars and wear
snazzy clothes,but against a braindead dude called Arjun Singhania he has as much chance of getting any as a Benedictine Monk in a Saharan Seminary.
Couple this with the other failures that have plagued our existence. Any attempt at spiking hair with gel fails miserably. In an hour I have a crown of greasy, smelly fibrous mush. My night ends there. However the northy just
has to scream "Wakaw!!!" and you have to peel the women off him to let him breathe.In a disco while we can manage the medium hip shake with neck curls,once the Bhangra starts pumping we are as fluid as cement and gravel in
a mixer.Karan Kapoor or Jatin Thapar in the low cut jeans with chaddi strap showing and see through shirt throws his elbows perfectly, the cynosure of all attention.The women love a man who digs pasta and fondue. But why do they not see the simple pleasures of curd rice and coconut chutney? When poor Senthilnathan opens his tiffin box in the office lunch room his female coworkers just dissappear when they see the tamarind rice and poppadums. The have all rematerialised around Bobby Singh who has ordered in Pizza and Garlic bread. (And they have the gall to talk of foreign origin.)
How can a man like me brought up in roomy lungis and oversized polyester shirts ever walk the walk in painted on jeans (that makes a big impression) and neon yellow rib hugging t shirts? All I can do is don my worn "comfort
fit" jeans and floral shirt. Which is pretty low on the "Look at me lady" scale, just above fig leaf skirt and feather headgear a la caveman, and a mite below Khakhi Shirt over a red t shirt and baggy khakhi pants and white
trainers a la Rajni "Badsha".
Sociologically too the tam or mallu man is severely sidelined. An average tam stud stays in a house with, on average, three grandparents, three sets of uncles and aunts, and over 10 children. Not the ideal atmosphere for
some intimacy and some full throated "WHOSE YOUR DADDY!!!" at the 3 in the morning. The mallu guy of course is almost always in the gulf working alone on some onshore oil rig in the desert. Rheumatic elbows me thinks.
Alas dear friends we are not just meant to set the nights on fire. We are just not built to be "The Ladies Man". The black man has hip hop, the white man has rock, the southie guy only has idlis and tomato rasam or an NRI
account in South Indian Bank Ernakulam Branch. Alas as our destiny was determined in one fell swoop by our nomenclature, so will our future be. A nice arranged little love story. But the agony of course does not end there. On the first night, as the stud sits on his bed finally within touching distance and whispers his sweet desires into her delectable ear, she blushes, turns around and whispers back "But amma has said only on second saturdays..."
Balls
"The Travails of Single South Indian men of conservative upbringing" or "Why we don't get any..."
Yet another action packed weekend in Mumbai, full of fun, frolic and introspection. I have learnt many things. For example having money when none of your friends have any is as good as not having any. And after spending
much time in movie theatres, cafes and restaurants I have gathered many insights into the endless monotony that is the love life of south Indian men. What I have unearthed is most disheartening. Disheartening because comprehension of these truths will not change our status anytime soon. However there is also cause for joy. We never stood a chance anyway. What loads the dice against virile, gallant, well educated, good looking, sincere mallus and tams? (Kanadus were once among us, but Bangalore has changed all that.)
Our futures are shot to hell as soon as our parents bestow upon us names that are anything but alluring. I cannot imagine a more foolproof way of making sure the child remains single till classified advertisements or that
maternal uncle in San Francisco thinks otherwise. Name him "Parthasarathy Venkatachalapthy" and his inherent capability to combat celibacy is obliterated before he could even talk. He will grow to be known as Partha. Before he knows,his smart,seductively named northy classmates start calling him Paratha. No woman in their right minds will go anyway near poor Parthasarathy. His investment banking job doesn't help either. His employer loves him though. He has no personal life you see. By this time the Sanjay Singhs and Bobby Khans from his class have small businesses of their own and spend 60% of their lives in discos and pubs. The remaining 40% is spent coochicooing with leather and denim clad muses in their penthouse flats on Nepean Sea Road. Business is safely in
the hands of the Mallu manager. After all with a name like Blossom Babykutty he cant use his 30000 salary anywhere. Blossom gave up on society when in school they automatically enrolled him for Cookery Classes. Along
with all the girls.
Yes my dear reader, nomenclature is the first nail in a coffin of neglect and hormonal pandemonium. In a kinder world they would just name the poor southern male child and throw him off the balcony. "Yes appa we have named him
Goundamani..." THUD. Life would have been less kinder to him anyway.
If all the women the Upadhyays, Kumars, Pintos and, god forbid, the Sens and Roys in the world have met were distributed amongst the Arunkumars, Vadukuts and Chandramogans we would all be merry casanovas with 3 to 4 pretty
things at each arm. But alas it is not to be. Of course the south Indian women have no such issues. They have names which are like sweet poetry to the ravenous northie hormone tanks. Picture this: "Welcome, and this is my family. This is my daughter Poorni (what a sweet name!!) and my son Ponnalagusamy (er.. hello..).." Cyanide would not be fast enough for poor Samy. Nothing Samy does will help him. He can pump iron, drive fast cars and wear
snazzy clothes,but against a braindead dude called Arjun Singhania he has as much chance of getting any as a Benedictine Monk in a Saharan Seminary.
Couple this with the other failures that have plagued our existence. Any attempt at spiking hair with gel fails miserably. In an hour I have a crown of greasy, smelly fibrous mush. My night ends there. However the northy just
has to scream "Wakaw!!!" and you have to peel the women off him to let him breathe.In a disco while we can manage the medium hip shake with neck curls,once the Bhangra starts pumping we are as fluid as cement and gravel in
a mixer.Karan Kapoor or Jatin Thapar in the low cut jeans with chaddi strap showing and see through shirt throws his elbows perfectly, the cynosure of all attention.The women love a man who digs pasta and fondue. But why do they not see the simple pleasures of curd rice and coconut chutney? When poor Senthilnathan opens his tiffin box in the office lunch room his female coworkers just dissappear when they see the tamarind rice and poppadums. The have all rematerialised around Bobby Singh who has ordered in Pizza and Garlic bread. (And they have the gall to talk of foreign origin.)
How can a man like me brought up in roomy lungis and oversized polyester shirts ever walk the walk in painted on jeans (that makes a big impression) and neon yellow rib hugging t shirts? All I can do is don my worn "comfort
fit" jeans and floral shirt. Which is pretty low on the "Look at me lady" scale, just above fig leaf skirt and feather headgear a la caveman, and a mite below Khakhi Shirt over a red t shirt and baggy khakhi pants and white
trainers a la Rajni "Badsha".
Sociologically too the tam or mallu man is severely sidelined. An average tam stud stays in a house with, on average, three grandparents, three sets of uncles and aunts, and over 10 children. Not the ideal atmosphere for
some intimacy and some full throated "WHOSE YOUR DADDY!!!" at the 3 in the morning. The mallu guy of course is almost always in the gulf working alone on some onshore oil rig in the desert. Rheumatic elbows me thinks.
Alas dear friends we are not just meant to set the nights on fire. We are just not built to be "The Ladies Man". The black man has hip hop, the white man has rock, the southie guy only has idlis and tomato rasam or an NRI
account in South Indian Bank Ernakulam Branch. Alas as our destiny was determined in one fell swoop by our nomenclature, so will our future be. A nice arranged little love story. But the agony of course does not end there. On the first night, as the stud sits on his bed finally within touching distance and whispers his sweet desires into her delectable ear, she blushes, turns around and whispers back "But amma has said only on second saturdays..."
Balls
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