Was this close…

I’m in a confession mood right now. Going with the flow, I am going to recall an incident that happened with me on a rainy afternoon in Bombay back in 2001. This was the time when I was working for Microland as a Snr. Systems Engineer (recently promoted that too). I was working on-site at Procter & Gamble in a dilapidated little building in Mahalakshmi. I had to go to my main office in Andheri to sign and accept my promotion.

Since it was raining heavily, I decided to take a cab to Andheri even though it would have cost me a fortune. Unfortunately it was raining so heavily that I couldn’t even find a cab. The traffic was moving at a snail’s pace due to the incessant rains and water logging in what essentially is the second most low-lying areas of Bombay after King’s Circle. I was standing under a dripping thatched shelter bus stop contemplating on whether it’s worth going to Andheri. As I was just about to turn back and make a dash towards to the office, I spotted a yellow-black fiat slowly chugging its way towards me. I frantically started waving my hands in a bid to catch the driver’s attention under these conditions. Bless his soul he immediately stopped…but much to my dismay I saw a guy seated in the front besides the driver and a girl sitting at the back.

The driver asked me in a typical Bambaiya fashion “Kidhar jaaneka hai boss?” I replied back in the same lingo “Andheri jaaneka hai mereko…lekin aapka ‘savaari’ hai na”. He replied with a devilish smile “Boss shared karna padega….idhar aur koi taxi nahin milega aapko”. I was like…what the heck, I don’t give a damn…just had to go and collect it as I had to leave for Delhi the next day. I was totally drenched and sat down at the back besides the girl. I had no clue if the middle-aged man sitting in the front and the girl were related or not. So I just sat tight, hearing the blathering of the driver about how the government doesn’t do anything about the roads during monsoon and the corrupt RTO officers. After about 10 mins or so, the girl suddenly asked me “Do you work around here?” That was the first time I saw her face…fair, radiant and wet. I replied in the affirmative and generally started chatting about the weather and her occupation. She apparently was from Delhi and was in her 3^rd year Medicine at Jaslok hospital. She was getting back to her Girl’s hostel in Bandra before the situation went through the roof.

The other guy in the cab got down at Prabhadevi after about 30 mins of traveling from Worli at a pedestrian’s pace of approximately 10 kmph. On the way from Dadar to Bandra we merrily chatted about motley of topics ranging from Medicine v Engg and Delhi v Bombay etc. She spoke in a sweet dulcet but firm, crisp and clearly. I really was enjoying the conversation I was having with her on a miserable day. I had no clue as to how time passed but I suddenly found that we were in Bandra. The cab screeched before a lousy rust colored building. I quickly exchanged phone numbers with her and moved on. On my way towards Andheri, all I could do was think about her. She had really caused a flutter in my heart…it was a passing thought I guessed.

I flew to Delhi the next day afternoon to work on some God forsaken project. The conversation about Delhi with Sanjana just ruminated in my brain. I used to smile at myself while working late hours….strange. I made up my mind to call her once I came back to Bombay which I did. We spoke at length, continuing on the topic that Bombay was a zillion times better than Delhi (which I firmly believe is). We decided to meet up at Barista (I seriously didn’t know y I choose that stupid place) in Bandra. Things just got better as we spoke about a whole bunch of new topics ranging from euthanasia to Stem cells and abortion. We enjoyed each other’s company that day and I was really keen to meet her again….and we did and a lot many times after that.

It had come to a point that we started calling each other everyday and talked on the fone till wee hrs in the morning….till that very fateful day on the 7^th of August, 3 days before I had to leave for the US. She called me over to stop by at her place (hostel) before I left. It was an unspoken message that we were going around without ever uttering it to each other. I went to meet a few of my friends place that afternoon and headed to her hostel at around 7 in the evening. She opened the door and stood before me in a resplendent red spaghetti strap and low cut jean, showing off her fair under belly. She had nicely decorated her room with ribbons with a big wine bottle on the side table and a well illuminated candle. As soon as I entered the room I greeted by a big warm hug ( I am more than certain that I heard a few sniffs). We had a couple of tall glasses of crystal clear white wine and generally chatted about where our relationship was heading. It was really tough on me and more on her coz we had become emotionally involved.

Out of the blue, I did not know what overcame her and our lips met. The feeling was of a gentle dew drop falling on my lips. I held her tighter…the feeling of her supple breasts crashing on my chest was the warmth and strength I needed to make my headway to the US. Unfortunately in the heat of the moment, we had no control of where we were headed. Flailing hands and wet lips were the order of the day. I slowly and carefully undressed her exposing every part of her pearly white skin….she certainly did look like an angel. She helped me undress while our lips were still locked for a precious few minutes. I was a wee bit buzzed…but I was in totally control of the situation…I certainly did not want to mess up on a beautiful little act.

As we were fondling each other, I heard a loud bang, a gun shot to be precise. I jumped up totally startled, though praying in my mind…GOD please don’t ruin this for me. I heard a huge roar “Shoot that bitch….Ohhh that’s that’s just awesome dude”. I peered down the bed much to my dismay Lookateem and Goli playing “Enemy territory”. I was just woken up from my sweet lill siesta dream to the bitches’ incessant screaming.
‘GUTENTAG’

Now what did he do wrong?

Dada has been dropped from the squad for the 3rd Test. I seriously dont get this circus that they are playing around with Ganguly's career. He has been in terrible form over a past year or so and I totally supported the fact that he needed to be dropped, get back to the roots and score heavily in domestic cricket. This is how events unfolded:

1. First the news comes out from the selectors (More particularly) that Ganguly is included in the test team as an all-rounder.

2. Ganguly doesnot even bowl 5 overs in test 1 and 2 combined

3. He makes a dodgy and important 39 and 40 in the second test.

4. Dravid says :"He played very well in both innings". But the selectors decided to drop him.

5. Aha...the selectors. The newly appointed guys...still groping to find their feet under the media flashbulbs. After Sharad Pawar was appointed the BCCI president, the first task that was carried out was to oust the 3 selectors who had vociferously backed Ganguly's inclusion. Three new puppets were instated and now Dada is out.

6. Coming to the question of his performance in the 2nd test, I thought he looked really solid. He fought it out in a good partnership with Sachin in the first and Yuvi in the 2nd. And since he was dropped solely based on the performance of the 2nd test explain Gambhir's inclusion to me.

7. And who does replace him??? Wasim Jaffer....Wasim who?? Doesnt matter folks as far as Mr. Sharad and company are concerned he is from Mumbai...and thats the ticket to get in.

It just seems that the bunch of fools led by a corrput politician and a big-mouthed stumper are out there just to strike out Ganguly and a glorious chapter off Indian cricket's reams. As my friends from Lock Stock would put it..."Its lame, Its a pain, Its SHAME of the fuckin' century"

-Balls

You're the nigger in here

I was looking at Forbes 400 richest in america 2000. Gururaj Deshpande's name showed up here.To search for more material on him, I googled "Gururaj Deshpande", first link that came up was this. I started looking at http://dalitstan.org/ whose objective apparently is "Human Rights Organization working for the Upliftment of Dalits". I started delving more into the articles posted on this crappy little website and going by today's proceedings thought this was the article I should choose to put up.

Now tell me would you call Tendulkar..just "Tendulkar" or "Brahmin Tendulkar" ?
Comments are most welcome.

-- Pushkar

Betrayal

Following is a the letter which the head of the sacred order of non-graduates Aup, sent to his disciples shortly after the ghastly turn of events of November 21st 2005.

Quote:

"I thought that adages were meant to be a reflection of reality. I believed that birds of a feather flock together and had left no stone unturned in my effort to instill the principles of indiscipline, lethargy and procrastination into members of our sacred cult. But today, on 21st November 2005 EST 12.30, I reveived a call which shattered the very foundations of my beliefs, hitherto, as hard as a rock. The haunting words "There are exceptions to every rule" resounded in my mind giving me a glimpse of the pragmatic. In every walk of life we have come across atheists, or being politically correct, agnostics ( Bailya, Goli, Marw , Bhaiyya and Savitha) who thought that "non-graduation" as a philosophy per se, could exist, but didn't believe in it ( their one semester extensions and subsequently their graduation explains this). We (Aup, Balls, Mike...) stuck to our mission statement "Thou shall not graduate..ever!" as our raison d'etre. But the turn of events of today can be unequivocally described as catastrophical. People tag along with the core individuals(of this cult) and then, somewhere in time, part ways and commit such heinous crimes, that shake the very foundation( of this rare sacred cult ). Not so long ago, Mr. Balakrishnan Ramachandran was a sincere member who with his unwavering loyalty, was the right hand of the Master Aup (MS CE/CS Aug 2002 -), which, had earned him the true admiration and respect of the esteemed regulars Mike ( MS CS Aug 2003 -), Ashutosh (Aup's friend from Rockville MS CE June 2000 -) and Aditya ( Aup's friend from San Diego MS CS Aug 2001 -). Then there was the genesis of a forbidden desire and an inner voice led him off on a tangent. He kept digging in, ploughing hard, against all odds (the set of ideals preached within our cult) , much to the chagrin of the orthodox ranks. The result.. with a combination of his effort ( or so we are made to think) , his critically acclaimed manipulative, glib-talking skills, he successfully defended his Master's thesis and is now marching with aplomb, towards "Graduation"( my apologies for the blasphemy). This ignominous act of his, has left me with absolutely no choice other than to unceremoniously discard him from the order with the severest degree of dishonor. Anyone contemplating the unthinkable shall be dismembered from the cult with immediate effect. At dusk, the Master will address all disciples in an attempt to stem the overflowing sentiment of betrayal and douse the blaze of the fire of graduation. There would be a clarion call to never tolerate such a betrayal of trust and disloyalty and repose your faith in our mantra .. The truly educated never graduate"

Unquote

Dear Balls,

Jokes apart, I feel really happy for you that you did it and did it in style (thesis passed without changes). You kept the motivation going and pushed hard to get the job accomplished, which, is something I will take inspiration from. You were ably assisted by the power of English and your spot-on shot in the dark. I wish I could say that I know how it feels to get the burden of thesis off your shoulders, but I am not qualified to do that. So, for once being non-Aup, heartiest congratulations for a job well done and kudos on your gracious exit from our cult !

40 Years of Torture and More !!!!

Well an epoch making event has just happened, Shahrukh Khan has turned 40 !!! This blog is dedicated to him and one of our esteemed reader who posted one of our hate mails for an earlier blog.

First and Foremost - Lets talk about the newest resolution of Shahrukh Khan -

"He is going to quit smoking"

Its quite a bold step to do. Infact, I believe he started smoking to show that he is a man enough. But after his happy relationship with his friend Karan Johar, I guess he has realized that he does not need to be a man anymore and can return to his basic instincts ... of bein a woman ...
You ask for proof !!! Watch the latest LUX ad.

The fallouts :-

1. We will have to endure more of his movies and his bakwaas for the coming decade. It was becoming unbearable but now since he wont die fast ... I can only worry about the future in Bollywood movies for us.

2. Infact i shudder at the thought when my Kid will ask "Why was sharukh khan considered such a best actor " in the most sarcastic voice. I guess the answer to that would be He is basically an embodiment of a female trapped in a male body and his constant trials and tribulations to retain his original form.

3. With Karan Johar not smoking too .. I guess we will see more relationship and association between SRK and KJ ... spells more trouble for us.

Second :-

" SRK always new he had talent and his success would be riding on talent than anything else" -- Azziz Mirza

Blah ... If he had talent then I have better talent than him in acting or even Balls.

Third :-

Two comments from SRK

"If in Titanic, an 80yr old woman can still love the young man she loved then why cant there be a love story between a ghost and a woman"

"Asoka is ahead of its contemporaries"

Should I even comment on it ..NAAAAAAAH

Also, Last but not he least

SRK : "I do not want to watch my own movie"

I guess he is better off having no issues with mental anguish which we suffer from his incessant
chattering ... and lack of any skills whatsoever .. I guess we can safely assume that he will outlive us.

I hope to see a movie where apna GOD (Amitji) kill him in a classic showdown in all the SeVen ways possible. We need a redeemer !!!

Two Brothers

A couple of days back Vishal posed me the question: What did Amitabh wanted to convey to his audience when he said “You see the coefficient of the linear is just a position … by the hemoglobin of the atmospheric pressure in the country”. I thought long and hard…racked my embryonic cells…but in no way could I make any logical sense of that statement. I crashed in the night, twisting and turning with the poser just compounding my insomnia. Suddenly the theme music of Dr. Strangelove (a Kubrick movie) started playing. I jumped up totally startled, but was instantly put to ease knowing that it was a specific ringtone I had set for Marwadi’s calls. “Hello Bala main Anubhav”… I yawned. Marwadi dished out the usual…blathering about human rights to a tarantula’s libido. Strangely this time around he sounded a lot like somebody I knew, I had heard, I revered. A palm sized steel box flashed followed by a perpetually peeved expression and then a torso sporting a torn baniyan. That’s it!!!! It was Raj Babbar…the man, that God, that Sheen!

With the power of ‘hindsight’, I could somehow recollect that I had always ribbed Marwadi of wearing a similar baniyan to the one worn by Babbar in ‘Mazdoor’. My mind started racing; with a pounding heart and an excited cerebellum, I started crawling to delve into the intricate parallels of the two legends. Here are my humble findings:

1. Unnamed sources tell me that Raj Babbar has an uncanny similarity to the way Marwadi greets on the fone. So the other day I called his RJD office (Raj Ji ka Dal) and left him a voice mail about a fake possibility of a lead role in Clockwork Orange II (another Kubrick movie).Bubbah is ofcourse famous for his rape scenes in many hindi movies...a pederast scaring Padmini 'Khola'puri. Raj ji excitedly called me back, to confirm the odd similarity between the greats: "Hello Bala main Raj Babbar".
   

2. Sometime back, when I was still in Baltimore the excited 2 yr old kid Srikant dragged me into watching an absolutely shoddy Akshay Kumar movie by the name ‘Police Force’. It was so ridiculously dire that I couldn’t even make a single retort (which is unheard of… believe me). Raj Babbar’s virgin dialogue was the only saving grace of the movie. He enters a flower exhibition and splutters in his now legendary Oxpardessh English: “Real-lee gawd's kree-ay-tion is phan-tie-stick. Eats-grate”! He could deliver such a fantastic line with ‘paan’ strewn all over his oral cavity. Man’s love for flowers is generally unheard of…but this is where the generalization stops and the parallelization begins. This is what I mean. I rest my case.
   

3. I’m pretty sure that you guys haven’t seen Bubbah saab ever dance. Neither have I, but according to me going by the similarities with Marw, we could safely conclude that it wouldn’t be very far from Marw’s slick moves. If u guys have ever seen Marwadi after a heavy lunch or dinner, you would precisely know what I’m talking about. When he burps, its not just gas escaping his esophagus, but it’s a release of energy that actually culminates into a nice conglomeration of urban punk and break dance. The mid-riff synchronously follows the neck and the butt to form a nice wavy motion with the hands flapping the air in rhythmic movement. I would leave this unique step to your imagination, but believe my gut feeling Babbar Sher wouldn’t be far off from this one.
   

4. Leaving aside the Lucknowi accent (for its cult usage watch the now legendary dialogue from LOC: How many Kajulteez are thyair?), the Sher has paid homage to Marwadi in a particular scene from the movie Sansar. Bollywood ishtyle he kissed Rekha (background two flowers touching each other) and had her pregnant. The coy family woman that she is, she is unable to break the news to the Sher. This is the dialogue that ensues (its too difficult to describe the scene so the actual meaning is in brackets):
   

Sher: Ahhhh ( Wassup?)
Rekha: hmmm (I’m fucked!!!)
Sher: Huaahhh (Watchya mean Nigga?)
Rekha: (pointing to a 16x16 picture of a white kid)
Sher: AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH (Should have purchased a condom)

Imagine if the same dialogue was to take place between Sher and Marwadi:
Sher: Ahhhh ( Wassup?)
Marw: Haan?? (rhetorical)
Sher: Huaahhh (Watchya mean Nigga?)
Marw: Matlab (Abey angrezi mat bol…who bhi Bum)
Sher: AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH (Should have purchased a condom)
Marw: Pata nahin yaar (Gira doon??)

Coming back to the original question now…how does this relate to the song lyrics? Well I am a big fan of Kubrick and I totally like to leave the blog open ended…a chance for you guys to rack your brains.

Respect to the two greats…EXCUSHHH ME PUHLEEES!!

Blast from the past

Was generally going through Freaks archives and hit upon a small but quite hilarious post by Aup. So here we go:
Happenings over the last two days:
1. Belur is Freaks Inc's offical deity. " Bhagwaan Arun" showed his omnipresence by meeting Vishal, Bala, Anubhav and me at some instance or the other on the same day, something like " Bhagwaan Arun prakat hue ". Any color which is ubiquitous is henceforth an Arun color; for eg " Off white colored Khakis " will be now identified as Arun colored khakis.
2. Hawas is one of the Freak cult films, and the offical anthem is " Teri Chahat mein badhne lagi hoon..main har hadh se gujar ne lagi hoon", the video of which, features a bimbo named Meghna Naidu possessing big saggy assets and two fuck faces named Shawar Ali ( a chronic case of limited vocabulary. Only words spoken " Yeaaaah ") and Aryan Vaid (Ex Mr India turned Mr Porn India). Hawas is also a new genre of porn called "Slappy Porn". Hawas is a must see Hindi porn bonanza which according to Shawar, is a "family" film.
3. Freaks Inc introduces a new cult figure : Ramakant "theyar"
4.Upcoming movies at Oaklee Theatres :
Hawas - * ing Shawar Ali, Aryan Vaid and Meghna Naidu
the trailors preceeding this film are also something to look forward to: 1>Silence Please..This is the dressing room *ing Salil Ankola, 2>Sheen * ing Atul Wassan, a babe named Sheen and the one and only master of constipation Raj Babbar. Also ,we will request IndiaInfo.com to make the trailors of the movie "Papa the Great" : *ing the one and only Kishan Kumar, available online.
Exclusive: An interview with our man " Shawar Ali " , courtesy Times of India
5. Srikant finally has a claim to fame. In our discussion about how wierd the movies are named nowadays in particular reference to "Daag: the fire" or " Jaal: the trap". Srikant has this suggestion: Rename the film Supari to " Supari: the tobacco". This culminated our Friday night session of watchin fucked Hindi film trailors.

1.1 Aup
2.2 Balls

The sum of all years (fears)

A perfect blog material..I dont know why KK didnt deem necessary to put it directly on the blog. An absolute stunner from the most unexpected quarters :-) . Its a privilege to post it !

Quote:
After such a marvellous chat on that day and subsequent follow up with an amazing photo and meeting Anoop ... I was compelled to write the following tribute to Goli.

I have only know him for such a short time ... but I always thought I saw his art somewhere or the other and after seeing his thesis and some other pieces of art in the lab, I finally realized that I had seen him all over the world. It is a great honour to be associated with Goli who art adores most of the museums in the world. From Cave paintings to his preliminary trials with metal to his first wheel, I have been compelled to think how ardous task it must have been for him.

He is the true cradle of civilization, always have taught people the basics before they surpass him. His lifespan has not covered several generations but several spieces. He has not only seen the rise and fall of empires but also the rise and fall of entire living organisms .... not to say he must also be involved in the extermination of some.

I have often heard people of saying, doctors and researchers probing on how people can live forever without diseases and other ailments. Without ever aging. But I am lucky to be with the person who has held that secret always in his heart. He has been the truest form of Human. Not because he doesnt have any progenies but because he has chosen not to. He keeps his secret buried in his chest and the burden doesnt allow him to enjoy.

It is very drastic for our own Goli. Consider his emotional state ... how difficult it may have for him, from incomplete education as Vatsayana passed away (rumors about some veneral disease) so he was deprived of the true education to which we can only think about to the cruel war in Mahabharata to the being on the TITANIC or endure Romeo's and Juliets most boring love story or see Cleopatra's sleeping with all but goli.... Life has not been easy for Goli to say the least. These emotional upheavals has taken a toll on him.... but rest assured he is still standing tall ....He is the strongest and the oldest (not including the wisest) of all freaks.

May Goli this new year be the best of all eras u had so far .. and may you carry the stories of Freaks to the passing generations .....

My Wishes for u :-

Slow at first, too soon the years quickly fly
Far beyond our short reach and fragile hold
Just like the birds which polka dot the sky
Then sit and laugh, while, like fools, we grow gold...

With just their voice, they sing to show the way
Living the high life, laughing and soaring,
As we fret over mirrors wrinkled gray,
Along with nonsense, judgments, and snoring

So when your star rises again each year
And you see those mockingbirds light nearby,
Keep in mind they come not to taunt and jeer at
They're here in hopes this is the year you fly

KK

Baltimore to San Francisco

Disclaimer: Considerable artistic license has been taken in the production of the text for this scene. The author makes no guarantees as to which incidents occured and which ones didn't.

Scene III: The Phantom of the Highway

Act I:

Bhaiyya and Mike set out from Cleveland, taking Interstate 71, hoping to make it to Springfield, MO by day's end.

Mike: Gaand lag gayee.
Bhaiyya: Toh naya kya hai?
Mike: Bhenchod!
Bhaiyya: Achcha sorry, kya hua?
Mike: Kya hua kya? Itna late ho gaya hai yaar, how the fuck do you expect that we will reach on time?
Bhaiyya: Mike, kabhi toh positive attitude dikhaya kar!
Mike: Arey gandu, there is positive thinking and then there is wishful thinking!
Bhaiyya: Arey koi nahi yaar, RAAP DEEE!
Mike: Hahahahahaahaha!

Act II:

Narrator: In trucking circles, there is a legend of a "Ghost Who Drives". This ghost, it is said, has a penchant for possessing the vehicles of drivers driving a very specific type of car; that car being a blue honda accord coupe with a v6 engine (Maryland License Tags (Number 6BCE43)). It is this narrator's great pleasure and sadness to say that Mike's car was possessed by this ghost ever since Bhaiyya took to the wheel of Mike's car.

Bhaiyya and Mike reach Columbus, OH relatively late because of Mike's overcautious driving. Mike thinks that testing fate once too often is the pastime of fools...

Mike: Bhaiyya, abhi tu chala.
In the inimitable style of himself,
Bhaiyya: Haan, haan.
Mike: Main ab sota huun, tu chala sakta hai na? (this statement will be said so often during this trip, that it will in future be refered to as 'tcshn?')
Bhaiyya: Haan, haan.
Mike: Hamesha ki tarah mat chala, pahunchte pahunchte six laac tickets milenge tereko.
Bhaiyya: Arey nahi re, main dekh ke chalata huun, cop dikhega to slow karta huun.
Mike: Lekin the cop sees you with invisible rays called radio waves.
Bhaiyya: Chup bey, randi!
Mike: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Arey but seriously, thodasa slow chala, it doesn't pay to speed...
Bhaiyya: Okay, main samajh gaya huun.
Mike: Thank you.

Bhaiyya speeds, disregarding Mike's fatherly advice. A few hundred miles later...

Enter a non-specific truck driver, named Jack, and his helper John.
Jack: John, son, let me tell you the story of the "Ghost who Drives".
John: I've heard about it.
Jack: Yes, but have you seen the ghost who drives?
John: You mean you have?
Jack: Yes, son, I have. And I have a feeling that we are going to see him again today. This ghost has no regard for the time of day, he can appear at any moment, zoom past your truck and leave in your stomach a sense of awe and a sick feeling that keeps gnawing at you for a few days.
John: Really Jack, I don't believe this crap. You mean to say that you have seen a ghost?Jack: Son, can you see a blue dot on the back horizon in the truck's mirror?
John: So?
Jack: I bet you that it's the Ghost who Drives.
John: Yeah, right! And I am John the Baptist!
Jack: If you don't believe me, you will. Soon.
John: And how's that?
Jack: See that cop car there? Hiding behind the overpass?
John: Yeah, so?
Jack: Do you think he can see us?
John: Of course!
Jack: He can't see the blue car.
John: How do you know?
Jack: When you spend as much time as I have on the Highway, you tend to know these things.
John: Or you can bullshit a lot.

Enter Mr. Policeman, sitting in his patrol car, looking for a speeder. It's been a slow day, not one speeder, can you believe it?

Mr. Policeman: Come on you mothers! SPEED! How else can I finish my ticket quota? And if this time I don't finish my quota, I will be busted down so low, I will have to clean toilets in hell! Why God? Why does this happen to me?

Mr. Policeman looks up toward heaven

Mr. Policeman: God, send me an angel who speeds the shit out of their car, please, send me an angel that will help me get a promotion, send me an angel that will obviate the necessity of this book (holds up the ticket book) for me! Please God PLEASE!
Mr. Policeman, in his violent religious fervor, drops the ticket book to the floor of the car
Mr. Policeman: Oh shit.
Mr. Policeman bends down to pick up the book.

Meanwhile, in Mike's car...
Mike: ABEY SAALE!
Bhaiyya: Kya hua?
Mike: Tereko bola na slow chala slow chala... Abhi dekh cop aa gaya peechhe?
Bhaiyya is temporarily flabbergasted.
Bhaiyya: Abey saale, koi cop nahi hai.
Mike: Malum hai! MUUUUHAHAHAHAHAHA CHUUTYA BANAAAYA! BADA MAZA AAAAYA!
Bhaiyya: Hahahahahahahaha! Tu chutya hai re!
With a feigned bow, Mike: Thank you!
Bhaiyya: Oh Shit!!!!
Mike: Kya hua?
Bhaiyya: COP CAR THA!
Mike: Chup baith, main joke maar raha tha!
Bhaiyya: Lekin main nahi maar raha tha!
Mike: SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!
Bhaiyya: I WAS DOING 95 in 75 MPH zone, man, I am done for.
Mike: RUK RE! Wo nahi aa raha hai apne peechhe! HAHAHAHAAAA Andha cop!
Bhaiyya: Aisa kaise ho sakta hai?
Mike: Malum nahi, sota rahega! hahahahaha
Bhaiyya: Hahahahaha

John's mouth is agape. He has just witnessed the impossible. He has seen a blue car doing 100 mph go right in front of a cop car and the cop doing nothing about it.

John: How the HELL did this happen? I saw the car, it was real, it was a blue car!
Jack: It was the Ghost who Drives. Once the ghost takes hold of your vehicle, it is invisible to all cops!
John: I believe, master!
Jack scratches his long beard like Pei Mei: You have just seen the Ghost who Drives!

A moment to cherish

Two years..seems like long long ago
Two years..since the very first words started to flow
Two years..every passage, link or rhyme
Two years..of vivid memories worth a lifetime

Today is the second bday of the brainchild of our all time freaky minds, "Freaks Inc". Started as a sports blog by Marw and Madhu (Madhu who?) and christened by Balls, it now is a focal point for our flowing rivers of thoughts, numerous experiences , opinions (wise and strongheaded) , excitements, joys , sorrows , passions, exasperations, discussions and more recently "hatemails". Just like we had a poll going around on Amitabh's bday, I decided to ask each of us Freaks what blogging on Freaks means to them. Here are the views I got in chronological order (unedited)

Balls said (Oct 16 20:58): Freaks has been special to me. It has been an invisible and invaluable member of our friendship...just like Tyler. Taking off from the Fight Club analogy, it has brought out the ingrained qualities in me that I never thought existed...creativity, writing skills, poetic skills and more than anything else, a reason to reason. Its been two years now and the credit to keep Freaks going, goes to each one of us to have come up with an idea par extraordinaire every once in a while. Here is wishing Freaks a very happy 2nd bday and may the list of wonderful blogs continue.

vcd said (Oct 20 12:06):
I write on Freaks because you can express your opinions without inhibitions
I write on Freaks because I know there are people as free and with as little to do as me who are going to read my blog/comments
I write on Freaks because every opinion you have is always opposed
I write on Freaks because you can pull someone's leg or sometimeseven someone's pants down and get away with it
I write on Freaks because I enjoy the comments
I write on Freaks because I get undeserved footage
I write on Freaks because it's my karma
I write on Freaks because ... awwwww fuckkkkkkkkk it ... I write on Freaks because i love to.

Goli said (Oct 21 11:50): Breathe! I need to breathe, thats it. All of you guys know how little I actually contribute, beyond a few comments and some prehistoric posts. Funnily enuf, we must remember that I contribute quite significantly in an indirect manner (all those gory references to my name and what not - shove it y'all ! )For me this blog is a lifeline, so to speak. I feel instantly connected with the people who matter in my life. If the rest of the world also gets to take a peek or join in, well, who cares! Its almost a daily ritual to visit the blog for me (marw some stats please!). Trouble is it brings all the memories back and the distances seem be unfathomable. Keep the Good stuff rolling!

Savithamma said (Oct 22 13:59): I like to write on Freaks Inc, because it is a good way of expressing my views and getting to know other opinions of other Freaks:) about topics that aren't discussed often.

Marvadi said (Oct 23 01:28): I love to write on Freaks because where else can I just hotlink and get to hog so much limelight? Its also an ideal platform from where I can speak my mind (euphemism for "argue as much as I want") and get away with it. On a more serious note I like to write on Freaks because its a great medium for like-minded yet different people to share their thoughts ... haan ... nahin ... matlab pata nahin yaar...

Aup said
I write on Freaks Inc because it is an exceptionally versatile platform wherein I can I have a spontaneous release of emotion and be a part of what I call "an epitome of group collaboration". Twenty years down the line, when I look at the archives, my miniscule brain would get a snapshot of where I was in life ( the air I breathed, the people I talked to, the opinions, fights, discussions I had).Writing on Freaks gives me an opportunity to explore numerous facets of my persona which I thought never existed.
Finally I blog on Freaks because BLOGITO ERGO SUM.

As I write this , I relive all those joyous moments and highs blogging on Freaks has brought me over the past two years and I sure as hell want to continue doing this. Putting things in perspective, I can say that
"We are different people, each has a different mind; but when we blog, we are one of a kind".

Heres to two years of blogging.. Happy Bday Freaks Inc !

Aup

Hits and Misses....

I started looking around statscounter for some info on how people land up on our blog....on what search strings they used. Such a blog was already posted by Marw....centuries ago...but the results now are still the same...ludicrous. So here we go:

1. why i wouldnt want to be shahrukh khan in my next life - Seems a popular search string. People really have taken this topic seriously!!!
2. live in relationships - Savitha u've really become famous by posting this blog!
3. osho i am scared - So what can Osho do??
4. indrajal project - hmmm...KK credit de raha hoon tujhe.
5. good porn trailors - Sorry mate Goli doesnt upload his collection anymore (fortunately!! bahut hi wierd collection tha ;-).
6. mallu girls - Sorry Bhangi was never part of this blog
7. iftekar party - Now this is a bummer as 'The Dude' wud put it. Iftekar's last party was when he won the Kakesian award for hamming in Don.
8. meghna naidu nude gallery - Freaks now officially serve as Meghana Naidu's unofficial nude gallery site!
9. big mauth sex - Vatsyayana did u miss something here?
10. bihar school examination board - Sorry son we dont leak 'Bihari' papers on Freaks.
11. google earth pune kothrud - Puneris will never learn!!!! (Bloody rain shadow)
12. anubhav pronunciation - Lets all sing "Don't you cry for me tonight"
13. shit ass dialogues - Sure Lookateem ka search hai...a purrrfect circle
14. meghna naidu sexiest photos - Yeh this guy needs the sexiest...sorry mate didnt know ppl thought Ogres to be sexy
15. aryan vaid is gay - Yeh we know that.
16. sexy shayari - Borrow a DVD of Nikaah...pen down the 'sexy shayaris' and die at the end of the movie.
Last but not the least...the greatest of em all..
17. ladki ladki ka sex - Comments left to Freaks...too shocked to write .

Signing off from a half-empty blog...
-Balls

Baltimore to San Francisco

(Go West) Life is peaceful there
(Go West) In the open air
(Go West) Where the skies are blue
(Go West) This is what we're gonna do [1]

[1] Pet Shop Boys
[2] Meghneel, refer 1

( Couldn't help myself :D )

Scene 2: Baltimore to Cleveland (Cleveland? THE WHYYYY?)

It is 7:00 pm, both Bhaiyya and Mike are very late to start off (so what's new?). At last, the last bag is in the car.

Narrator: On October 18th, 2005, Mike and Bhaiyya started the journey of a thousand miles with a single step; or the journey of three thousand four hundred and sixty two point one seven miles with the flick of the gear shift. The drive from Baltimore the Cleveland takes one through the states of Maryland, Pennsylvania and Ohio.

Mike: Hum log abhi is car ko really "fully loaded" kehe sakte hain!
Bhaiyya: Hahahahahahaha!
Mike: Chal boss, niklis, already late ho gaya hai, bhenchod jaisa, let's go, man!
Bhaiyya lowers his tone and his demeanor becomes deferential; talking about the hallowed Cigarette God always has this effect on Bhaiyya
Bhaiyya: Yaar, ek cigarette marke nikalte hain...
Mike: Yes, of KHourse!

Narrator: So after the mandatory salutations to the God, Mike and Bhaiyya are finally on their way to Cleveland at 7:05 pm. Generally, it would take sane men about 6 hours of non-stop driving to complete this 370 mile drive; it takes them only 5 hours and 15 minutes and that too after 45 minutes' worth of breaks in between.

Enter Sagar, Mike's friend living in Cleveland, studies at Cleveland State University.
Sagar: Kay re madarchod, kasa ahes? Mela nahis na vatet?
(Hey, mothafukka, wassup? Didn't have an accident and die on the way, did you?)
Mike: Nahi aai zavadya, nahi melo, tula marlya shivay ani azun ek don kama ahet ti kelya shivay marnar nahi me. (No, mothafukka, I won't die till I kill you, and there are a few other things that are preventing me).
Sagar: Hahahahaha!
Mike: Kya solid thandi hai idhar!
Sagar (heavy heavy marathi accent to his hindi): Arey haan, idhaar aisa thandi padneko shtart ho gaya hai. Raat mein to 45 degree tak jata hai.
Mike: Oh fuck! Itna jaldi itna thandi?
Sagar: Ho re, kay karnar, aliya bhogasi... (Yes, man, can't help).
Mike: Hmm, te hi kharach ahe. (Ya, that's true). Chal re gharat chal, nahitar thandi nech maraycho, gadi cha accident vhaychi garaz nahi padnar! (Let's go inside, otherwise we'll die of cold and you won't have to wait for me to die a horrible, terrible, gory and bloody death on the highway).
Sagar: Ho, I would rather that you die in a car wreck.. HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Mike and Bhaiyya: MADARCHOD! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

The trio make their way into the apartment building. It's a tall building in downtown Cleveland. It's okay, not too good, not too bad. 9th floor is Sagar's apartment (among others, of course). Sagar, Mike and Bhaiyya enter his apartment.

Mike: De reeeeeeeee, beer de!
Sagar: Aai ghalya adhi chappal tar kadh! (At least take your footwear off!)
Mike: Chappal kadhta kadhta beer peeto me! Lavkar de.
Sagar (refering to Mike's maniacal driving): Tumhi lok kaychakay lavkar alat re.
Mike: Ho ka? Mala nahi asa vatla. Beech mein mere gaadi mein ek bachcha rone laga, "Mummeeeeeee, bhoook lageeee haiiiiii!"
Narrator: This is a tangential and derogatory remark to Bhaiyya's hunger and the break that Mike and Bhaiyya had to take just 30 minutes into their trip due to this.
Bhaiyya: Haan, tu to kabhi khata hi nahi hai na, bhosade!
Mike: Haan, nahi khata huun.
Bhaiyya (imitating Mike): Bhosade mein ja re!
All: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

After a couple beers and six laac cigarettes later...

Sagar: Chal re me zopto, mala udya lavkar uthun Mugdha la kamavar sodayla zaychay.
Mike: Hmm, udya mala kahich kaam nahi ahe.
Sagar: HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Mike: Thamb re randechya, roz roz tula maza darshan milta ka?
Sagar: Thank GOD, nahi milat!

Translation
(
Sagar: Alrighty then, I am going to sleep, tomorrow I have to get up early and take Mugdha to work.
Mike: Hmm, tomorrow I have nothing to do.
Sagar: HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Mike: Wait you son of a whore, do you get to see me everyday?
Sagar: Thank GOD that doesn't happed!
)

After 5 hours of sleeping

Mike (getting up): It's 8:00 shit!
Sagar: You leaving now or later?
Mike: Let Bhaiyya get up, which will take another sixx yeeaaas. So my guess would be later.

After an infinite amount of time, which includes accompanying Sagar and his girlfriend (oops! fiancee) to her workplace, coming back, drinking chai and then showering, Bhaiyya and Mike are finally ready for the second leg of their journey!

Big B:- Hallowed be thy name

On account of GOD's bday on the 11th of Oct, Vishal and moi decided that we wud pose 11 questions to Freaks and post the results as a poll on the blog. The much-awaited results are as follows:

Fav Movie: (no real surprises here)
Sholay(4)
Deewar(4)
Amar Akbar Anthony(1)
Lawaaris(1) - (Kausum where the hell did that come from??)

Fav Song: (no clear fav here)
Tere jaisa yaar kahan(1) - aankh se aanso aa gaya ...
Yeh dosti hum nahin todenge(1) - Still remains the greatest hindi song on friendship.
Rang Barse(1)
jumma chumma dede(1) - amit rocks ... kimi ... growllllllll!
Pag Ghungroo baand(1) - classic amit ... brilliant song ... brilliant execution
Jaane Kaise Kab kahan(1) - Good song...nice choice bhaiyya
Kabhie kabhie(1) - (Balls' opinion ...zzzzz)
Inteha Ho Gayee Intezaar Ki(1)
My Name is Anthony Gonsalves(1) - Excoooz me puhlees.
Mere Agne mein(1) - Versetality of the man to the fore.

Best Performance: (again kinda a no-brainer between Deewar and Agneepath, though its a surprise not even one Freak went for Shakti)
Deewar(4) - one for the GODs ... stunner!
Agneepath(3) - pura naam vijay dinanath chauhan ... aaaahhh ... orgasm!
Sholay(1)
Anand(1) - (I thought Kaka stole the limelight here?)
Black(1)
Namak Halal(1) (i know it adds up to 11 ... not our fault ... we can count ... blame suraj, cos he couldnt make up his mind between agneepath and deewar)

Worst Movie: (most of these movies suck ... hard to pick one)
Mrithyudata(1) - couldnt have picked a worse comeback flick
Jaadugar(1)
Boom(1) - Katrina Kaif was gorgeous in this one ... ohh ... sorry no distractions ... back to the poll ... Katrina ... ohhhh so sexy ... slurrrp (censored)
lal badshah(1)
Kyoon..ho Gaya Naa(1)
Saudagar(1)
Shahenshah(1)
Bade Miyan Chhote Miyan(1) - (??? ... r u sure strikant it belongs here?)
Toofan(1) - double amitabh ... double the suckiness
Waqt - The race for exit doors

Fav Dialogue:
The popular choices:

Main aaj bhi feke hue paise nahin uthatha (4) - aaaaaah .... that classic .... numero uno ... and justified
Don ko pakadna mushkil hi nahin, naamumkin hai (3)
Tumhara naam kya hai Basanti(3) - the way he says it ... that mocking tone ... priceless!
jaoo pehle us aadmi ka sign leke aoo jisne mere haath pe ...(4) - cult status

The Critics picks (Vcd and Me :-))

Ma .. maine aaj haat dho liya hai - Agneepath(1)
Pagar Badhawo..Ye policewale ka pagar badhawo tum..sala itana paisa main ghar nahi chalata..Imaan kaise chalega - Agneepath(1)
Aaj apun ka mauth ke saath appanment hai ,,,English mein bolta hai ..kyaa- Agneepath(1)
Peter..tum mujhe dhund rahe ho aur mein tumhara yahan intezaar kar raha hoon- Deewar (2)
Pura naam, Vijay Dinanath Chauhan, baap ka naam, Dinanath Chauhan, Maa ka naam, Suhasini Chauhan, Gaon Mandwa. Umar Chatiis saal - Agneepath(2)

Basically this kinda shows us that most of Amit's memorable lines are from Deewar and Agneepath....and interestingly these two were voted as his best performances...put 2 and 2 together.


Amit/Jaya or Amit/Rekha (surprisingly close ...)
Amit/Jaya(6) ... Jaya u can relax now ... freaks have given the verdict
Amit/Rekha(4) ... Rekha ... too bad ... u r 2nd in line in the polls too ... but we guys are still hungry :-)))

Comedy/Drama or Angry
Angry(7) - lots of reasons given for this ... emergency ... unemployment ... frustration of the common man ... all these factors made him a superstar ... but the generation after that also chooses him and shows it was not just a phase ... it was the sheer brilliance on the man's part
Comedy(1) - we lost an actor with brilliant comic timing to this whole angry young man wave ...
All of the above(1) - its a poll ... choose one Yatin!!!

Which wud u have liked to see him in (some very very interesting ones in here):
Oskar Schindler(1)
Robert De Niro in Taxi Driver(1)
Andy Dufrene(1)
Godfather(1) - did a similar thing in sarkar ... but amit doing the original role would have been something else ... cos with due respect to RGV ... he is still no Coppola
Tyler Durden(1)
Gladiator(1) - Interesting choice bhaiyya.
Judah Ben Hur(1)
Jeffrey Lebowski(1) - hahahahahahaha ... good un Lookateem
Dustin Hoffman in Rain Man(1)
Al Pacino in Scarface(1) - KK has done it again...thought it was done in Agneepath!

Could he have taken on Hollywood
Definitely(9)
No(1) (Bhaiyaa's acting Lucifer here :-) )

Funniest role:
Chupke Chupke(6) - main jo keheta hu woh samjati hai ki tum keh rahe ho ... keheta main hi hu ... keheta main hi hu ... lekin woh tum jo main hu aur woh main jo tum ho ... woh main jo main ...(CLASSIC!)
AAA(3) - aisa to aadmi do ich baar bhagta hai life me, olympic race ho police ka chase ho ... tum kis ke liye bhagta hai bhai
Namak Halal(1) - Nice one Strikant ... easy to forget that one

Voice/Dialogue or On screen persona:
Screen Persona(4)
Dialog Delivery(2)
Voice (1)
All of the above(1) - Yatin does it again!
Eyes(1) - ye, that idiot is Vishal


Here's a toast to the greatest thespian ever to grace Indian cinema. Thanks for providing us with wholesome entertainmentduring our glory days and hopefully in the future too. U rule the roost...the true Badshah of Indian cinema...you have said it yourself in Kaalia :Hum jaha pe khade ho jaate hein, line wahi se shuru hoti hai. Happy B'day from Freaks.

-BALLS / VCD

Bloggers Kick Ass !!!

It had been a long hiatus since I started do some blog surfing to see what is happening at the hallowed world.

I started of with Gaurav's blog and I was surprised by the post on his blog, where he has left his job etc.

http://gauravsabnis.blogspot.com/2005/10/update.html

I remembered quite a while ago when I read the original blog about his comments on IIPM and was surprised as to why is the issue coming along now.

Then after a week, I return to the blogsphere and I have see a entire blog war started up. The media have quietly and silently stood and watching from the sidelines, but apna own Indian blogosphere is in quite a fight.

Have a dekho ...

http://www.desipundit.com/2005/10/08/lies-damned-lies-and-fake-blogs/

But, have we really come of age to really Kick Ass ? Can we take over the lofty institutes who blatantly polarize issues, hide facts, advertise non-existent stuff and promote ideals.

This is the inflection point of blogosphere, where how far can we stand for our Freedom of Speech. I also started reading some blogs which have sprung overnite to support IIPM.

However, I do stop and wonder, Can the blogosphere be also manipulated like other media outlets. We know the papers / the news .. Can the blogosphere maintain the sanctity of freedom of speech.

Not to mention " With great powers come great responsibilities" As we have freedom of speech (I thought so until I read the legal notice served by IIPM) we also have responsibilities to some extent.

On some of the finer points of all these controversies :-

1. Would like to meet the Legal Cell of IIPM
2. Would also like to know who and how did one notarize the e-notice. Quite a technical challenge to do all those things as mentioned.
3. How did IIPM get contact information about the blogger to serve legal notices.. Private information are basically not to be released as far as I know about the privacy contracts.

My heart goes out to the students of IIPM who would be the most affected. But hopefully, prospective students would carefully research in future before they take plunge ...

Baltimore to San Francisco

Scene 1
Outside Bhaiyya and Mike's apartment building. Smoking cigarettes by the dozen. It is morning, about 9:15 am on a Tuesday. Mike looks frustrated. Bhaiyya is laughing at Mike.

Mike: Anil Chandragupta madarchod hai re sala!
Bhaiyya: Hahahahahaha! Kaise?
Mike: Arey kal subah sala main dus baje pahuncha na, to mereko Chandragupta ka email aya tha, saying that 'Try to make it before 9:30'
Bhaiyya: Nahi nahi, ye barabar nahi hai re... Anyway, tere woh company ka kya hua? Relocation de rahe hain tereko?
Mike: Nahi na bhenchod saale. Lekin tune poochha tere friend ko ki kitna paisa lagta hai gaadi transport karwane ke liye?
Bhaiyya: Haan woh bola ki about barah sau rupaye lagte hain.
Mike: Oh fuck! Usse achha to main gaadi chala ke leke jaunga.
Bhaiyya: Hahahahaha!
Mike: Hus mat... soch na... it will be cheaper than transporting it and road trip ka road trip bhi ho jayega.
Bhaiyya: Haan re, actually teri baat mein dum hai.
Mike: Aur kya, kya bolta hai... ayega mere saath san fran gaadi mein?
Bhaiyya: Chal re jaate hain!

Barring a few censored out swear words towards Chandragupta, this was the gist of the conversation between Bhaiyya and me that spurred us on to decide to drive to San Francisco. It's going to be a great drive. I will write a day - by - day account of our travels and travails towards the city of San Francisco. So watch this space.

what if ...

some interesting what ifs ... maybe we could add a few of our own to this funny-in-parts list:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2005/09/29/AR2005092901881_pf.html

Super Series

I'm really interested in the forthcoming Super series set to begin tomorrow. A myriad of super and future stars clash against each other in a tasty little series. As always before a series I put forth my views and predictions.

Key battles:

1. Sehwag v/s Brett Lee
All of us know for a fact that Sehwag digs at a bowler hurtling the cherry at pace. He has many a time clobbered the likes of Shoaib in Pak, Bond in NZ and Lee in Aus. But Brett Lee comes around this time from a fairly successful Ashes series and holds the mantle for the Oz-destruct-act.
Prediction: Lee wins

2. Lara v/s Mcgrath
Heavyweights at work here. Has always been a mouthwatering contest with Mcgrath holding the upper hand in a lot of contests. But Lara is no Cullinan. He has the ability to destroy an attack but is certainly vulnerable initially where Mcgrath has got him squared up bowled or Lbw.
Prediction: Tie

3. Gilchrist v/s Flintoff
Its a fav with the Pom tabloid nowadays on how Gilchrist was Flintoff's bunny during the ashes. But hey Flintoff is a new kid on the block where Gilchrist has bullied for almost a decade. Gilly would be seething revenge and considering Flintoff's still dizzy state, he is in for a hiding here.
Prediction: Gilly pulling Flintoff back to roots.

4. Martyn v/s Muralitharan
Keeping in mind the indoor nature, I think that dew might play a factor. There would be no breeze, so the drift that Murali depends on be non-existant and that would hinder his performance. But as the 2nd and 3rd games arrive, the track would play slower and lower and should create ample problems for Martyn who, with all due respects is no Mark Waugh at playing spinners. He might have had a fantastic series against India...but sadly he isnt in the right mental state.
Prediction: Murali would edge it.

5. Ponting v/s Akthar
This un should be a classic. Akthar loves to hog the limelight...and this acts as a perfect platform. What better way than to kick the captain in the nuts when he is down. Ponting loves to cut and pull and he is one of the best at that. The SCG being generally slow, he would have more time to negotiate those snorters and this should be one of the highlight contests accoring to me.
Prediction: Ponting...he would be smarting to prove to the world that the Aussies are still the best.

I havent mentioned two modern day greats, Kallis and Dravid. They are blokes who shy away from the media where the rest I mentioned generally always fill up pages. They would quitely go about their task and bring sanctity to proceedings. My hunch is that the World XI would nick the series 2-1.

Man Of The Series: Jacques Kallis. (As much as I hate the guy...cant deny he is a class act)
Disappointment of the series: Pietersen (Mark my words he is going to be sorted out in the series)

Let the show begin!!!

-Balls

of numbers and statistics

reading a book called Moneyball which talks about Baseball and picking drafts and stuff like that. Came across this really nice paragraph on how and what numbers reveal.

"James later reduced his complaint to a sentence : fielding statistics made sense only as numbers, not as language. Language, not numbers is what interested him. Words, and the meaning that they were designed to convey. "When the numbers acquire the significance of language," he later wrote, "they acquire the power to do all of the things which language can do: to become fiction and drama and poetry. ... And it is not just baseball that these numbers, through a fractured mirror describe. It is character, It is psychology, it is history, it is power, it is grace, glory, consistency, sacrifice, courage, it is success and failure, it is frustration and bad luck, it is ambition, it is overreaching, it is discipline. And it is victory and defeat, which is all that the idiot sub-conscious really understands." "

In my opinion, atleast this is what we expect numbers to reveal. I am not completely sure if they always reveal the complete story.

Bollywood and "The Freaks"

Rounds upon Rounds in telecons between Freaks, we discuss the losers of Bollywood. We devote heaps of email communication on discussing them. Some obviously get paid for doing only such work ;-) .

We discuss about the various hijdas or the cleavage artists which abound in the bollywood industry and recount experiences about how we ended up watching a particularly awful movie and how idiots were we in purchasing tickets at times in 'black'.

We also discuss the comparisions of various actors with their contemporaries in Hollywood and how meaningless these comparisons are. But this let me to think, why do we see it at all.

We miss the atmosphere of a Desi theatre out here. We miss all that we did in the theatre in India compared to here. However pathetic movie we go to see, it would not have been without the catcalls, the smart comments and the pure rustic sounds in the theatres which would enable us to sit through the 3 hrs of pure depression we see in front of us and as we try to find out the art of filmmaking (or rather the dearth of it).

Has any Indian movie been complete without the customary intermission. Where Samosa's, Popcorns and Sodas rule the roost. More of a ritual which enhances the movie experiences.

Going to movies in India was second nature. If ur sitting at home and getting bored, we would go to the movies. We want to go for a date or just hang out, what better option than Movies. Turns out to be cheaper and have a whole lot of things to say about the movie.

I know some people who go for all kind of movies whether it is Hindi , English or the pathetic Hinglish ( where English movies are dubbed in Hindi) I guess the last one was the most interesting of all of them as we see the mayhem caused in the translation and the source of all comments during the same period.

We all have had stories to tell about how we paid Rs xxx for very bad movie in which some hijda was acting and recount all the horror we saw on the screen and the disgusting antics.

But with all said and done, we still dont miss any chance to go and see a 3hrs bullshit packed Bollywood movie, whether the actor / actress/ director have not delivered at all --- coz the irony is that we enjoy the boredoom.

Cricket !!! Personal Fiefdoms or Nation's Pride

Keeping track of what latest developments occur in the cricketing world, it seems in most of the teams, news related to on field activities take up headlines rather than off field activities (except of course Zimbabwe).

Just seeing the latest controversy, it makes me wonder, even if we win the world cup in some future date, will we be the world champions in the real sense.

Are we professional enough ?

Was Sourav right in talking to the press about his conversation with the coach and the selection committee? And that too with a smirk in the face just because he scored 100 runs against a bad pace attack. Maybe the coach may have been right / wrong in saying Sourav to quit being a captain but has it been proper to bring such a conversation the fore and wash dirty linen in press. I dont think the rumor of the coach asking him to step down would have been generated just like that but more of a inside leak of the selection meeting.

Isnt captaincy to be conferred to the person, who is best suited for it, as he represents the National cricket team and the pride of the nation. Or is it a personal fiefdom where the prince's and kings rule the roost. What are they protecting the Nation's pride or their own pride?

How did the entire email from the coach to the BCCI president be leaked. As a committee are they not responsible enough to keep conversations to themselves private enough. Isnt it true that most of the denizens on the net keep there emails private without any leakage unless they would like it too?

What do the BCCI do after the receipt of the email --- Take an entire 4 days to come up with a solution .... Appoint a committee ... Isnt it beaureacratic enough ... If it represents the problems of the national team and if they are really grave as the Coach's email suggests ... then doesnt it need to be resolved at the earliest. Rather than having a committee to negotiate between both of them, let the coach be allowed to prove his contents from the email and Sourav be cross examined to determine whether it is the case or not. Punishment as are the rewards should be swift and decisive for either party.

It is not that I do not support my team. But I also want to be proud of my team. I want it to be professional enough. I want every player to play for the Nation's pride rather than their pride / egos. I want them to protect our pride rather than their kingdoms ...

Is it asking too much ! This is how I visualize my team to be and the captain should be a leader not a manipulator.
Is it asking too much !!! I dont think so !

loooookatheeeem

a true loooooooookkkatheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeemm

Bihar Board Examinations Vol 01

A million requests, a hundred discussions and incessant exhorting later, here I am posting my first blog on Freaks Inc. Opted for a beaten to death story about my experiences with the Std 10th board examinations in the state of Bihar. I divide the story (incident) into two volumes (a la Kill Bill). The first vol. with my experiences as a student appearing for the examination and the second about my experiences behind the scenes.

Chapter 1. Moving to the exam center

Not all the private("English medium") schools in Bihar are registered. So the schools encourage students to appear for the 10th exam through any other school run by the state government. This is a win - win situation. Private schools manage to get their students to appear for board exams and the government run schools get to show the good results produced by these "alien" students in their annual review to justify their existence. The result, if any, is that the students are allotted an examination center too far from their homes, which means they cannot commute daily and have to relocate to their centers. I received my admit card and came to know that my center was 50 miles away from where I used to study. So reluctantly I packed my bag and moved to this new place called Pakhnaha Bazar.

Chapter 2. The Motel owner

This small place on the outskirts of my town was literally a village (gaon) ( with all due respects..somewhat like the one in KR Narayanan's Malgudi).Its rustic look was characterized with unfinished muddy roads, lush green fields, a duck pond and an open-air theater. The most preferred means of communication for the inhabitants were bullock-carts or horse-carts (taangaas).The visitors usually rode motorbikes to get to their destinations. With great difficulty,I managed to find a motel(a bungalow) which wasn't too far from the center, may be a mile away. My motel owner was a nice old gentleman who had a proven track record of hosting many a Std Xth student over the years in his bungalow. A religious, God-fearing person, he used to get up at 4'o clock in the morning for his namaaz. For some reason, even after a proper introduction, he assumed that my name was "David" (David .. Pushkar..how phonetically similar eh ? ). Concerned and caring that he was, my daily morning alarm ( usually set for 5am) was substituted by the motel owner's call "David Utho" which was easily more irritating than the standard "tininic-tininic".Sometimes even now, I can hear those haunting words resound in my mind.

Chapter 3. The task force

A student appearing for his std Xth examination was accompanied by a lot of excess baggage..well literally ! Apart from his usual luggage, a task force for moral support in the form of eight(excuse me...8!) people. Each one of them had a well defined raison d'etre and they functioned with seamless integration. While No 1. would be busy pumping water from the borewell, his counterpart No. 2 would be enjoying a nice warm bath(in the open..absolutely no inhibitions) humming the latest movie songs.The third would be chopping onions while the fourth would have the frying pan ready for the "sautee"(tadka).The adventurous No. 5 and 6 would be on their customary visit to the nearby forest to get the banana leaves for the meal(plates were a luxury). While the seventh, the chef of the group, would be busy cooking rice in an open vessel, his eyes half closed with the fumes from the cooking pyre, the 8th (the psychologist of the group) would be giving pep talks to the candidate(candidate who ???), readying him for the test ahead.Each one could reverse their roles with consummate ease and still function with maximum efficiency.

Chapter 4. The examination hall

A typical gaon ki pathshaala, with a huge playground and a big front gate.The classrooms,with atleast five big windows so that people can come in / escape at will.The atmosphere is just normal, like any class test with students just hanging around in the campus having their usual talks..no tension, no nerves whatsoever.Once the bell rang the students ran into the classroom, carrying their notes and books with them inside the examination hall.(Technically a closed book examination..if you may).With a stack of books on their desk,a bunch of notes under, and several cheat-sheets on their body, the student gears up before the starting bell rings.Finally, by the time this preparation is done, the student is so exhausted that all he cares about is gathering his thoughts ( assisted with books & notes and external support task force) and vomiting them on the answer sheet and just getting it over with. The preparation for the examination is clearly much tougher than the examination itself. The exam is all about you, but the preparation is about skillful planning, resource handling, project management and meticulous execution,something which would leave Roger Pressman(Guru of Software engg) searching for words.

Those were the first four chapters. The gory details of the examination and what goes on behind the scenes will be the subject matter in Vol2.So I end this first account of my experiences with a tag line"...wait with bated breath for Vol2 (Behind the scenes) "

~Pushkar

Life: A cruel Conundrum

Blasts at home, hurricanes away from home

Thousands stranded, locked up in a dome

Nature’s fury matching raging human syndrome

Leaving innocents like a dog without a bone.

Clicking away at the women and children who bleed

And selling them to magazines and TV to feed

Is this a punishment for many a wrong deed?

Repercussions for all the evil that we seed.

Schism in religion, a country almost Balkanized

A few bad men, a complete race ostracized

Innocent massacred and the silent traumatized

Is this how GOD wanted us to be characterized?

Mindless looting and unending corruption

Right from the start of democracy’s inception

‘We the people’ is a manifested deception

The future beholds just the road to perdition.

Reams of work on righteousness and wisdom

Just seems a a waste of time and path to boredom

What next after leading your life in Sodom

It makes death an aperture to freedom.

Yesterday’s pains, today is awry

Fooled by a charade, it’s not worth a try

Incessant sycophancy, you wonder why

Life is cruel son; you can’t help but sigh.

-Balls

Back in Black

Fellow Freaks,
Heres the new template, the theme being the ACDC classic "Back in Black". The good thing apart from simplicity is that the blog titles have started to appear in a different font, something which was missing in the previous template. Some more changes which might seem a bit of the blue is the reduction in the contributors list. As and when one of you ( non-contributors) write a blog, the blog template will be updated to add your name to the list. You all still remain members of Freaks Inc and you have access to create new posts. Just being fair in drawing the line between Freaks who read/comment but do not write( = non-freaks on the web) and the others who neither read nor comment nor write.

A few action points:

• Please make sure that you post all future blogs in small font size.
• If anyone has the drive, please try to update the main page title using a font other than that used in the template. Need a CSS expert here.
• Please provide your opinions regarding the new template. If you think that it sucks, please find another one which feels best (Movable types etc) and deploy it. ( admin rights will be given as and when necessary)
• Think of a new tag line for our blog.
• Please think of any new links which you might think interesting to add to the Links section
• Try to become a CONTRIBUTOR

Happy blogging

I was searching for a nice template for our blog but as always the intended search ended up being a visit to many bloggers' sites. I stumbled upon this girl's blog and she had a post which totally cracked me up

It read
"All women are bitches... some just try harder to hide that fact "

There were about ten comments from the fairer sex..they concurred !
Paints a pretty neat picture..doesn't it? :-))

B"aa"sten Travelogue

B"aa"sten Travelogue

Sorry to be hogging too much space..if there is a plethora of blogs the coming week, I 'll move this blog to a text file and create a link.

Before you jump on me asking why I spelt Boston as Baasten, let me tell you that the city smells funky. A beautiful historic city split by the River Charles, which runs through the heart of its downtown. You walk across the trail touching all the historic sites and as you feel this whiff of fresh air.. well 80% of the time, the other 20% you are greeted with this funky smell every avenue you cross, every block you walk.So much so that we rechristened the city Baasten. Rechristening and inventing new cult dialogues was the essence of this trip. A day-2-day event log (Enough footage to each event -- Hail Dr Saab !)

Fri Sep 2: Bala and Kausum headed to Boston from Baltimore by their 7.40 flight which reached Manchester, NH at 9.00. Savitha( a.k.a Savithamma was supposed to pick us up from the Manchester airport). So till 10pm, the time my United Airways flight reached Manchester, I guess Savitha and Kausum had to endure Bala's trademark leg-pulling for which there is never really a good retort except SILENCE sometimes.Headed home and reached by 11. Savitha's house is a three bedroom- 2 1/2 bath beautiful but stereotypical American townhome. Huge living room,three bedrooms and a kitchen,spotlessly clean and let me just say 'Looks like a home'. Some exquisite tomato rice and egg-mushroom rice with Raita was the menu as decided (Apna to baat ho gaya tha naa).Had our customary chat and leg-pulling session and went to bed a bit early after reading the hillarious shaadi.com success stories (a new name for absolute disaster)

Sat Sep 3: POA was to get up early, but the peace you feel sleeping late on weekends and the thought that there were three more days of vacation left, ensured that we got our lazy asses out of bed around 11.30.Took the 'T'(the metro) to Boston downtown.Had Khaana Waana at the Sultan's Middle Eastern Cuisine and then trudged along to Quincy Market.Its a nice happening place with some street performance or the other going on.We saw an Aussie juggler, who had us in splits and then some elastic bodies who did all the acrobatics which would make Nadia Comaneci et al proud. Visited one of the oldest post offices and took a lot of pictures.Just across the street is a wharf and we can see the beautiful Logan airport landing strip.We started to walk along the 'Red Line'( read Reah lie) , the historic Boston downtown trail. The trail touches all the historic sites in Boston downtown right from the old post offices, courthouses , the innumerable buildings built by Goli's early progenies and finally leads us into the NY Central Park style Boston Commons.There is a duck pond in the center of the park where I made a few swans with low intellectual ability earn their food. We then walked along the Boylston street and saw this church where supposedly the first gay marriage ("I hereby pronounce you husband and husband" sort) was held. Our trail ended with a nice stroll along the banks of the river Charles with the magnificient Boston skyline in the backdrop.Savitha then beefed up our expectations about a Chaat place called "Punjab" which is supposedly famous for Bombay style pani-puri, bhel-puri and other chaat.( Balls pls comment on this). A brilliant evening was ended by a fun
filled hour at the bowling alley where we also played frictionless table 1-on-1 hockey.

Sun Sep 4:Last year labor day weekend I was in Boston and I had gone on a picture clicking spree .A usual messup not surprisingly.. and I lost all of them. The day I had awaited had arrived .I was ready to go back to get what I had lost (Been there done that pictures).After a nice lunch at a Thai/Korean/Chinese place we were on our way to the hallowed grounds of MIT. Walking through the long corridoors, we were like the whingeing Poms with comments like "This is where I belong".It is a pretty humbling experience to be in a place which is the abode of beings
who are several intellectual stratas above us. The main dome is simply spectacular and each and every structure exhibits top notch architecture. Every brick in the walls of MIT emanates class . The exquisite old buildings of the Gugenheim Aeronautical Labs and the main dome have a perfect foil in the Stata Center whose structure I failed to comprehend. A bizarre (of snow bizarre) structure with aluminium foils protruding out, it encompasses a multitude of geometric shapes.But still has a peculiar brilliance confirming the rebellious genius of these MITians.An hour and twenty "been there done that " photographs later we were on our way to the Harward
campus.Our stay at Harvard was pretty short and most of the time was spent near the statue of John Harvard, polishing his shoes to gain the much required intelligence we were deprived of since birth.Dinner was at the Indian restaurant Bombay, where I once again helped these guys finish off everything in great style cleaning my plate to the extent of seeing my face in it (hyperboles galore).The dumb charades we played at night was a fitting end to a fun filled day.

Mon Sep 5:Theme of the day..RELAX karte hai. Did nothing..sat on our asses..ate nice upma made by Sav and in the evening we were back to where it all began..back to our world where we would be doing the same old breathe,eat,drink,spawn and die.

Top three incidents:
3.The absolutely whacky game of frictionless table hockey in the games arcade of "Games and Lanes" after an hour of bowling.The number of own goals we scored while playing each other just putting pace before guile was absolutely hillarious.Absolutely all aspects of our personality came out within half an hour of play.Bala crumbled under pressure created by the opponent and I under the pressure created by myself.
2.The rechristening of Savitha as Savithamma and her absolute cult dialogue "I am such an angel as compared to you guys" during the necessary talks of death and destruction.
1.Bala's new Freaks top 20, "Issi ke saath.." which was the standard after every short conversation ended and a cigarette was lit.

Conclusion : Bala and I were discussing that we usually go on a trip with the Freaks gang and even if the place leaves a lot to be desired, its the companionship which makes the trip a huge hit. The Boston trip was a deviation to the norm(not the normal Freaks gang) , but excellent planning( due credits Savitha), less driving and the numerous funny incidents makes it a trip, which will give me fond memories when I am as old as Goli ( in my zillionth life).

Blog Day !!!

31st Aug is known as Blog Day. Why was it decided to be the Blog Day .. Well look at the picture and u will guess why.

How about talking about various blogs we may have surfed up. Marw should provide lots of links for that .... as he always does.

But we can write a couple of lines about blogs and whether it is bad / worse or worst or really good blogging Innovating !!!

Let me start with one.

The Indrajal Comic Project : This blog is started which scans all the indrajal comics of our yesteryears. The comics published are actually provided by various members who scan and send them. This is one of the original ideas and very desi at heart.

Do try to share more blogs which you feel interesting

Movies on Mafioso

Well, Mangal Pandey was the disappointment of the year. Took 4 years to make such shit. But its a waste of time to talk about such movies.

What I wanted to talk was about the theme of a different genre of movies. Movies which involved the Mafia. Well, I was watching Godfather the other day @ Pushkar's house and then watched Sarkar. Also, reminisced the first gangster movie - Satya and the followup of Company.

What struck me was the gradual delineation of boundary between bad and good.

If you observe Godfather - in all the 3 parts it firmly believed that what the Don did was bad and Michael and the Don himself were always trying to become 'legitimate'. Even when they mentioned about the days in Italy where they had to fight the government, it was a robinhood kind of thing to do but ultimately it was bad. Although, it was all about business and the family, however the family grudgingly accepted the business. Michael did not want to be part of it and Kay left Michael for what he became.

Satya - Here the family had very little say even though Bhiku Mahtre the protagonist loved his wife. Here, Satya joins initially to take revenge but the ultimately, he is in for the money.

Company is where the shades start becoming gray. Chandu's wife and mother have no qualms about him earning money by killing guys. And the movie does not show a robinhood kind of saga but its money and greed for which Chandu does not follow the path of good. A far cry from 'Mother India' where the mother does not tolerate such behavior.

However, Sarkar is where the protagonist is now good instead of being bad and he punishes the people since the justice system could not do its work. I do wonder how did the justice system degrade if not for such warlords if I may say. So if not a single innocent man is harmed by Sarkar who runs a parallel government than it means the laws are ineffective or the laws are not taken in the spirit in which they are to be enforced.

Now, why does the bad really become good. Is it the law as Ayn Rand mentions in Atlas Shrugged - Making a law which people are forced to break will involve more power to the government. But I do wonder, if the entire constitution is bad ...

This does not look to be the case then, the people involved do discharge their duties properly. Which of the above actually is what has happened ? Which means the sense of fairness and morality of people have nosedived in the society ..

Basically, the movies represent the genre of our own society or is it all fiction ...

Is RobinHood really a good person or are Robinhoods created due to the societies righteousness dives down ..

Any Thoughts !!!

Ash to Ashes??

Ash to Ashes??

Now that the Ashes is nicely balanced and has garnered the attention of the entired cricketing world, I had a few questions to put forth to u guys...

1. Is Shaun Tait ready to wear the baggy green and let a few loose at the ruddy noses of the Poms? Or shud the old dogged warhorse Kasprowicz be given another go?
2. Are the Aussies over the hill? Is this the end of an era?
3. Why are the Pommie bowlers hailed as contemporary greats now that they've learnt the art of reverse swing whilst Waqar and Wasim branded as cheats by the same media?
4. Is Ponting the right man to lead the Aussies? Isnt he wrong in not using part timers like Katich and Clarke a little more when Giles (a left handed bowler likewise)...created havoc?
5. Finally what are ur predictions on the final standings? Whom do you support to take the sacred Urn?

-Balls

Independence Day

Fellow freaks,

Firstly , Happy Independence Day to all of you fellas.

Me and Vishal were talking about this and we thought we will post this question to each one of you.

What does Independence day mean to you ?

Here is what we thought it meant to us -

Every Independence Day, I think of the hundred and thousands who participated in the most unique freedom struggle on the history of earth, and I feel extremely proud of myself for being a part of that great nation. But then I think of how much do I really understand of being a slave. I guess none. Freedom was served to me on a silver plate and I have and probably never will truly realize the value of it.

I am afraid that I think about these things only I-day and then I feel scared that I am becoming what I have always feared to be- Just another soul busy in the mundane routines , one who is more interested in his monthly paycheck than anything else around him. I am scared that my only touch with my country is now limited to a bullshit newspaper (hell, I shouldnt even call it that) called TimesOfIndia which serves me nothing but crappy tabloidism. I am scared that another 3-4 years and I may even cease to feel as much as I do now.

-Marw .

"The true value of independence can only be measured by people who have seen both sides of it ... people who have lived in British-ruled India and free India ... people who have given their sweat, tears, blood and a lot more towards the fight for independence ... Its hard for our generation to really grasp what it means like to be slaves ... to be under a foreign body's rule ... free air can be valued only by someone who has been in a cage long enough.

Independence Day fills me with pride each and every time ... proud that I am an Indian ... it gives me goose bumps just thinking about the freedom struggle and what sacrifices people must have made so that I could see this day. But the problem is I experience these feelings only on I-day and not on each and every day throughout the year. Don't get me wrong, doesn't mean I rebuke India or dont feel proud that I am an Indian on the other days, just that those (very essential) goose bumps are not there.

If only Independence Day meant more than just a holiday to me India would have been a much better place."

-vcd

Notes : How about a limit of one comment per person for this post. (with ur I-day thoughts). so give it a thought before u reply.

House Warming

House Warming

This blog is intended towards people who werent present for bhaiyya n Co's. House warming party. Hence this blog might seem a li'll descriptive to those who were present. I've linked the description to pixx so that it might be easier for u guys (with inferior IQs) to relate to what was going on. Ive tried to maintain similar tempos of the blog with that of the party. You guys are the judge.

The Intro:
So there I was on on a pluvious friday evening, sitting inside Helmand's having second thoughts about an expensive trip to Baltimore. But the sight of Aup put me to ease; reason...well its more to do with the zillion trips he has made to Baltimore for no specific reason. Or to put it better ... it was good to be back 'home'. The food as always was close 'fresh' orgasm as is possible... and the ice-cream even better !! So off we went to bhaiyya's place carrying rotund bellies and feather light wallets.

The Place:
Bhaiyya's place is a 3 bedroom neat little apartment with a fireplace (with a bear rug besides it, wud serve them well enough for many of their sausage parties :-). The place between the living room and the kitchen has a nice little bar area. We setup the furniture, lamps, home theater system (a sexy Onkyo system that bhaiyya purchased) the same night.

The Party:
It certainly wasnt anywhere close to the kinda people that we are used to in our parties. It was a motley bunch of people, 3 sets in all: Mike's friend's from Philly, Pranam's lab mates and some others from UMBC. Meghana had made some of her irresistable puffs for starters. But the atmosphere was still pretty uptight as people gathered around in groups and chatted amongst themselves. Some losers were watching Spiderman (no offence meant Lookateem). I started having having second thoughts abt the party again.

The Liquor:
First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you...the theme of the party thyair. Booze was literally flowing like water. You name a drink/cocktail and you could find it in there. Right from Whiskey to Vodka to all kinds of beer to Tequilla to Martini....but sadly twas bereft of any O'Doulls :-). Bhaiyya and Lookateem teamed up as able bar-tenders and did a commendable job. Mike was completely gonno in the sense that he started kicking his friends from Philly in the butt. He was promptly taken out by one of friends where I hear Mike gave a 45 min lecture on who he was and his purpose in life.The alcohol did loosen up things a bit but the atmosphere was still a bit stiff to my liking. During a customary B.D break, Aup, Meg and me were comparing this party to the best we've ever had...Goli's bday party. Immediately we looked at each and roared....The Game !!!!

The Game:
During Goli's party atleast we guys knew each so we could be confident enough to write stuff out of the way. But after reading some of the stuff that was written by complete strangers to other strangers just had me rolling on the floor. When these guys came to know of the actual secret that you have to perform the thing that you wrote, the were appalled and started quite a scene...I sensed there itself...Aup's strategy of exhorting them into writing scandalizing scenarios had worked!!

The Performances:
First up was this girl (sorry im bad with names) who had written down for bhaiyya to dance on his fav Madhuri Dixit song. She was really flustered by mustered up the courage to add a twist to the proceedings...she wanted bhaiyya to accompany her (bhaiyya i think she fancied you ;-) ! Bhaiyya as we all know was now seriously embarrassed and started gulping down a couple of shots!! And after much persuasion he started his version of the 'Bihari Dixit' jig which had close to all of us in tears. Next up was this un-believable performance from Sumit. He had written down for another stranger (ofcourse) to perform a belly dancing act. He started like this...”Now fellas you all have to concentrate here”....pointing to his belly....and everyone rolled on the floor. There were other notable performers too like this dude Jayant (Pranam's friend) acted out his fantasy first night (well apparently he wants to plead to his partner to remove her clothes...sad). Abhishek (bhaiyya's friend) narrated an incident which was supposed to be his most embarrassing moment of his life...but it was hardly hilarious. So guess what me made him dance and thus he had delivered his most embarrassing moment...by far. Then there was this other guy who acted as Gabbar with Srikant hogging the limelight to volunteer as Thakur....the pic says it all....hilarious piecashit. Miss MU then sang 'Summer of 69'. Now I really noticed that she has some great ventriloquistic talents coz she hardly appeared singing but the voice was that of a drunk Mr.Balakrishnan. While Mike was downstairs explaining the purpose & his importance in Agnik and society per se, Aup did a brilliant impersonation of him ('Bho$@&e mein jaa ree...'). Lookateem did his customary bit of Helen and I teamed up as Jalal Agha, Pranam pissed on Balaji (Pranam = Dog & Balaji = Lampost), and I did the cliched Devsaab (GOD) + Gladstone Small (Satan) impersonation. On heavy public demand I even did a Bappi Da (He who must not be named)...'Yaad aa raha hai' which a lot of idiots couldnt grasp. Some pretty nice food from House of India was served to call it an end.

The End:

Of our elaborate plans, the end
Of everything that stands, the end
No safety or surprise, the end .

-Balls

Be .. Not Become

"All the Buddhas of all the ages have been telling you a very simple fact: Be - don't try to become. Withing these two words - being and becoming, your whole life is contained. Being is enlightenment, becoming is ignorance." - Osho

94.1

Can you imagine that there could be such rainfall in one day that would leave trains, buses, people stranded and life in disarray. But it happened. A few days ago I was speaking to my dad and he was of the opinion that there havent been rains in 15 days and the weather was getting really hot for comfort. 15 days later on 26th July 2005, the city of Bombay experiences not rainfall but huge flood causing non-stop rain filling all the low lying areas.
My parents were stranded in their offices. While my dad was enjoying his stay in office ( at Vasai), my mom fought the incessant rains and reached home ( Goregaon- Borivli) in 5 1/2 hours. Her journey included an adventurous walk (read swim) in waist high water and then taking a tonga( horse-ride) from Borivli station to my house. My dad wasnt that lucky though, he kept visiting Vasai station hour after hour but there was no scope of any trains. People from his office started the unavoidable "padyatra" and few of them even travelled the lengths of Vasai Road - Andheri in 10 hours( have to give it to them). My dad was in his office for two days and finally reached home at 5 am this morning.
Was speaking to him on the fone and the popular sentiment was that this is a natural calamity and no drainage system can be good enough to counter 40 inches of rainfall in a day. No planning committee can make arrangements to fight the loss of comunication and paralysis to the backbone of the city's transportation. I think sometime the decision of my parents to buy a house on 3rd floor paid off, otherwise we would be ruing our decisions like one of my friends ( Venkat from office ), whose ground floor flat in Chembur was totally washed out. He told me that it was not the loss of furniture, or his TV set that is disturbing, but all his family albums kept safely in the "divan" (sofa cum bed) and also all small things which mean a lot and money cannot buy them. It is amazing how it is more disappointing to lose something you treasure that is not that expensive, while you bear monetary losses worth 2 lacs.
But the indomitable fighting spirit of Bombay stays on and thats what I love about it.People swimming through 10 feet of water to feed the people who were stuck in trains and buses. Rescue operations totally led by localites in the absence of the fire brigade guys or the police. And the total business mindedness ( read opportunistic mentality) even in the times of disaster ( I say this because the day it rained, a cup of tea cost 15 Rs on VT station. Finally they were out of milk, so tea was made with Energee and that cost 22 bucks .. Wada pav cost anywhere between 15-20 bucks..funny but true).But it is Bombay and it will rise back soon, the ever rising death toll from this incident and the shock it has endured, notwithstanding.