Thursday, December 09, 2004

A day like all other...a nite like none other

I had a relatively quite bday (w/o the bash)in comparison to the Bday we had the previous nite. Most of my buddies had come over to wish me (albeit reluctantly) at the stroke of midnight.As the day wore on it took shape of 'just another day' types. But hold on to ur horses...it wasnt the case...coz KAKA saves the day again!

When Jo came over from India...he brought stuff from my folks back home...and to my disbelief and delight,my mom sent me the VCD of 'Disco Dancer' as a bday gift(try to top that guys)! So a relatively uneventful day had a 'kahani mein twist' types culmination i had thought. So here we were on 8th Dec roughly arnd 9ish in front of the computer weaving our way into millimeters of pocket space that was remaining in my bedroom all set...waiting with bated breath to watch Mithunda in action.This is how the nite unfolded...

Marwadi was snoring his way to glory even before the starting credits read 'Director : Babar Subhash'(Vishal all respects to the great man...have to say his first name and not just B Subhash). So it was 1/0 before a single ball being bowled...it was left to me,bailya,srikant,mithunda,kaka and bappi da to steady the ship. The movie started with a Bang (not BANG BANG mind u)...with KAKA and a fucking inconsequential 11 yr Wannabe Star kid singing 'Goron ki na kalon ki...duniya hai dilwalon ki' (wah Anjaan saab).KAKA was doing a Petrucci cum Portnoy cum Jetro Tull cum Ravindra Jain playing the Guitar with one hand and Congo with his other and a flute in his mouth.Ive heard a lot of music/musicians but this was easily the best solo performance that i had ever seen...unbelievable guitar riffs interspersed with break-neck speed axing coming out of an archiac 50 paise Gibson acoustic guitar...and hey all this played with one hand!! KAKA... Freaks Inc commemorates u with the 'KAKESIAN' award for musical excellence.

KAKA disappeared from the movie all of a sudden, apparently he had left for greener pastures to his gaon (and apparently also the gaon of all sadakchaap singers 'Rampur'). Enter Mithun da(read GOD)practi'sing'/honing his supernatural gift of singing and dancing which he apparently learnt from the streets of Bbay (yeh galiyon ne mujhe sur sikhaye aur yeh susan sadak ne mujhe taal...i cried). He is pitted against an established superstar Karan 'son of a gun' razdan whose only dialogues in the movie are 'SAM is great...SAM is the greatest' and 'Bastard'. What really catches the eye are the slick and debonair choreography by the legends Vijay-Oscar...making that choot Karan dance is a monumental task in itself...making him sweep (jhadoo) the dance floor with elegant rolling moves was just plain brilliance.

As Mithun da outshines Sam-The Jhadoowala, his success is not taken well by the magaaan yinsaan OmShivpuri (who is apparently wanted by the CBI for Violation of Indian Penal Code IPC 56334 - overuse of Safari Suit/Blazers). He appoints a menacing 'cereal' killer from London 'Bosco' to exterminate Jimmy...guess who that Killer is...its too difficult...u will never get it...SURPRISE SURPRISE its 'Bob Christo'!!! (I told ya...not to try). Nevertheless a plan is being hatched where its decided that Bob wud 'Konneckt' 5000 W of power supply to Jimmy's guitar and 'Current' him to death (here is the secret guys dont let this out...NY mein 3 day power cut iske wajah se gaya tha). Due to excessive current influx through the metal strings the electro magnetic force created spews out radiant red light through the body of the guitar(Einstein suxx..shudve learnt something under the tutelage of Babbar Subhash...i cried again coz we never recognise homegrown physicists). Ofcourse Jimmy's pyaari maa intervenes and saves Jimmy's ass. I was 'shocked' at the numerous and each magnanimous sacrifices she had to endure that she finally succumbed to it(cud hear in the backgrnd 'Maa chor beta chor'... Marwadi was now crying in his sleep).

Jimmy now has 'Guitar-phobia' which no doctor in the world can cure...except for one person(take ur time to guess who...ill reveal it in just a bit)...dekte hain 'Internation Disco Dance Competeesson' mein. 2 absolutely mind blowing performances from 'THE KING AND QUEEN OF DISCO' from 'Afreekaa' and 'Pareees'leaves the audience wanting for more. Enter Jimmy wearing skin tight lycra pants and the sleeveless t-shirt that was made world famous in reel life by raaj babbar in the movie 'Majdoor' and marwadi in real life.But he still cant sing coz of his phobia...enter the one and only...fresh from his exploits in the underground metal scene at Rampur and this years recepient of KAKESIAN award for musical excellence...the master of an atmospheric amalgam of partial chords, harmonics, echo repeats, drones, slide, feedback, and other effects...KAKA! 'Gaa Beta Gaa'...gone...guitar phobia gone...u never thought u wud believe in musical healing did u (Babar Subhash was also a psychologist/biochemist apart from doing ground breaking work in physics...step aside DaVinci). Goes w/o saying that Jimmy goes on to win the contest but the cereal killer is back...fresh from eating Honey bunches of oats.He shoots at Jimmy but the great man KAKA...outpaces the bullet...jumps+double sumersault+3 backflips and lands b4 mithun to save the day....again. Kaka's death that ensues after that is most brillaint and touching piece of acting that ive ever seen(All of us were crying by this point).

Here is a solemn pledge...From now onwards for a stunning cameo we will henceforth never ever say...he did a Kevin Spacey...He did a KAKA is wat is befitting. KAKA we salute u...babbar we r proud of u...Einstein u suck. THIS WAS THE BEST BDAY THAT I EVER HAD (aarti said it...im saying it...and even Mayor Uncle's daughter from Disco Dancer said it...Its in the air u know). Frankly the only flaw in the movie was that Goli didnt die in agony in the end...all in all thank u KAKA,Bob Christo and Zubesko for making my day.

-Balls
(Marwadi is now crying coz the blog has come to an end)

Abhi picture baaki hai mere dost !

Freaks Inc.. Bengaluru.. 15 years 2 months and 8 days later.. Agenda for the meeting: Day 1 1. Paying our respects to the beginning of time ...