Monday, November 21, 2005

Betrayal

Following is a the letter which the head of the sacred order of non-graduates Aup, sent to his disciples shortly after the ghastly turn of events of November 21st 2005.

Quote:

"I thought that adages were meant to be a reflection of reality. I believed that birds of a feather flock together and had left no stone unturned in my effort to instill the principles of indiscipline, lethargy and procrastination into members of our sacred cult. But today, on 21st November 2005 EST 12.30, I reveived a call which shattered the very foundations of my beliefs, hitherto, as hard as a rock. The haunting words "There are exceptions to every rule" resounded in my mind giving me a glimpse of the pragmatic. In every walk of life we have come across atheists, or being politically correct, agnostics ( Bailya, Goli, Marw , Bhaiyya and Savitha) who thought that "non-graduation" as a philosophy per se, could exist, but didn't believe in it ( their one semester extensions and subsequently their graduation explains this). We (Aup, Balls, Mike...) stuck to our mission statement "Thou shall not graduate..ever!" as our raison d'etre. But the turn of events of today can be unequivocally described as catastrophical. People tag along with the core individuals(of this cult) and then, somewhere in time, part ways and commit such heinous crimes, that shake the very foundation( of this rare sacred cult ). Not so long ago, Mr. Balakrishnan Ramachandran was a sincere member who with his unwavering loyalty, was the right hand of the Master Aup (MS CE/CS Aug 2002 -), which, had earned him the true admiration and respect of the esteemed regulars Mike ( MS CS Aug 2003 -), Ashutosh (Aup's friend from Rockville MS CE June 2000 -) and Aditya ( Aup's friend from San Diego MS CS Aug 2001 -). Then there was the genesis of a forbidden desire and an inner voice led him off on a tangent. He kept digging in, ploughing hard, against all odds (the set of ideals preached within our cult) , much to the chagrin of the orthodox ranks. The result.. with a combination of his effort ( or so we are made to think) , his critically acclaimed manipulative, glib-talking skills, he successfully defended his Master's thesis and is now marching with aplomb, towards "Graduation"( my apologies for the blasphemy). This ignominous act of his, has left me with absolutely no choice other than to unceremoniously discard him from the order with the severest degree of dishonor. Anyone contemplating the unthinkable shall be dismembered from the cult with immediate effect. At dusk, the Master will address all disciples in an attempt to stem the overflowing sentiment of betrayal and douse the blaze of the fire of graduation. There would be a clarion call to never tolerate such a betrayal of trust and disloyalty and repose your faith in our mantra .. The truly educated never graduate"

Unquote

Dear Balls,

Jokes apart, I feel really happy for you that you did it and did it in style (thesis passed without changes). You kept the motivation going and pushed hard to get the job accomplished, which, is something I will take inspiration from. You were ably assisted by the power of English and your spot-on shot in the dark. I wish I could say that I know how it feels to get the burden of thesis off your shoulders, but I am not qualified to do that. So, for once being non-Aup, heartiest congratulations for a job well done and kudos on your gracious exit from our cult !

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

Live from the Thesis Room :-

Balls did a marvellous job out there and his thesis was incredible. Infact, one of committee members suggested him to make it into a conference paper, suggests his perseverance and technical acumen paid of.

Btw I didnt see anyone taking coffee or donuts but were more interested in what can be done next after this thesis.

Looks like Balls may look at the PhD program @ MIT when we were talking about in our Boston trip.

All the best and congrats !!!

Anonymous said...

KK,
We are one member short now..applications will be considered :-))

Anonymous said...

Congrats Bala! Tu to 'Master aadmi' ban gaya abhi.

Anonymous said...

I think I should fill up the application ...

Anonymous said...

Absolutely brilliant blog Aup...i kinda feel sorry to leave the 'Cult' but just had to do it to express my sincere thanks to Helen on her 66th bday :-)

Anonymous said...

Kudos !!! Brilliantly written Aup!! I hope that in 2015 when the cult will be disbanded (when the master himself graduates) there will be a blog entailing its exploits.

Anonymous said...

in honor of samir's great comment I will just reiterate what he said ::: "Congrats Bala! Tu to 'Master aadmi' ban gaya abhi" ... genius ...

Anonymous said...

Ah..the mellifluous words mouthed by Satish Kaushik ! Good attempt Samir..but still not good enough to make you a contributor :-))

Anonymous said...

My sis' comment:
Shame on u ....ppl are graduating and u r spending time glorifying ur experiences of being a successful NON GRAD since 2002 and about mastering this art :-))

-Aup

Anonymous said...

I'm planning to write a blog, but can't find a topic :-/

Anonymous said...

Write about your several failed attempts to make it to the contributor's list :-))

Anonymous said...

The blog by Samir will start as "Kya DON?"

Anonymous said...

Congratulations, Balls.

Anonymous said...

Congrats !

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Abhi picture baaki hai mere dost !

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