Two Brothers

A couple of days back Vishal posed me the question: What did Amitabh wanted to convey to his audience when he said “You see the coefficient of the linear is just a position … by the hemoglobin of the atmospheric pressure in the country”. I thought long and hard…racked my embryonic cells…but in no way could I make any logical sense of that statement. I crashed in the night, twisting and turning with the poser just compounding my insomnia. Suddenly the theme music of Dr. Strangelove (a Kubrick movie) started playing. I jumped up totally startled, but was instantly put to ease knowing that it was a specific ringtone I had set for Marwadi’s calls. “Hello Bala main Anubhav”… I yawned. Marwadi dished out the usual…blathering about human rights to a tarantula’s libido. Strangely this time around he sounded a lot like somebody I knew, I had heard, I revered. A palm sized steel box flashed followed by a perpetually peeved expression and then a torso sporting a torn baniyan. That’s it!!!! It was Raj Babbar…the man, that God, that Sheen!

With the power of ‘hindsight’, I could somehow recollect that I had always ribbed Marwadi of wearing a similar baniyan to the one worn by Babbar in ‘Mazdoor’. My mind started racing; with a pounding heart and an excited cerebellum, I started crawling to delve into the intricate parallels of the two legends. Here are my humble findings:

1. Unnamed sources tell me that Raj Babbar has an uncanny similarity to the way Marwadi greets on the fone. So the other day I called his RJD office (Raj Ji ka Dal) and left him a voice mail about a fake possibility of a lead role in Clockwork Orange II (another Kubrick movie).Bubbah is ofcourse famous for his rape scenes in many hindi movies...a pederast scaring Padmini 'Khola'puri. Raj ji excitedly called me back, to confirm the odd similarity between the greats: "Hello Bala main Raj Babbar".
   

2. Sometime back, when I was still in Baltimore the excited 2 yr old kid Srikant dragged me into watching an absolutely shoddy Akshay Kumar movie by the name ‘Police Force’. It was so ridiculously dire that I couldn’t even make a single retort (which is unheard of… believe me). Raj Babbar’s virgin dialogue was the only saving grace of the movie. He enters a flower exhibition and splutters in his now legendary Oxpardessh English: “Real-lee gawd's kree-ay-tion is phan-tie-stick. Eats-grate”! He could deliver such a fantastic line with ‘paan’ strewn all over his oral cavity. Man’s love for flowers is generally unheard of…but this is where the generalization stops and the parallelization begins. This is what I mean. I rest my case.
   

3. I’m pretty sure that you guys haven’t seen Bubbah saab ever dance. Neither have I, but according to me going by the similarities with Marw, we could safely conclude that it wouldn’t be very far from Marw’s slick moves. If u guys have ever seen Marwadi after a heavy lunch or dinner, you would precisely know what I’m talking about. When he burps, its not just gas escaping his esophagus, but it’s a release of energy that actually culminates into a nice conglomeration of urban punk and break dance. The mid-riff synchronously follows the neck and the butt to form a nice wavy motion with the hands flapping the air in rhythmic movement. I would leave this unique step to your imagination, but believe my gut feeling Babbar Sher wouldn’t be far off from this one.
   

4. Leaving aside the Lucknowi accent (for its cult usage watch the now legendary dialogue from LOC: How many Kajulteez are thyair?), the Sher has paid homage to Marwadi in a particular scene from the movie Sansar. Bollywood ishtyle he kissed Rekha (background two flowers touching each other) and had her pregnant. The coy family woman that she is, she is unable to break the news to the Sher. This is the dialogue that ensues (its too difficult to describe the scene so the actual meaning is in brackets):
   

Sher: Ahhhh ( Wassup?)
Rekha: hmmm (I’m fucked!!!)
Sher: Huaahhh (Watchya mean Nigga?)
Rekha: (pointing to a 16x16 picture of a white kid)
Sher: AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH (Should have purchased a condom)

Imagine if the same dialogue was to take place between Sher and Marwadi:
Sher: Ahhhh ( Wassup?)
Marw: Haan?? (rhetorical)
Sher: Huaahhh (Watchya mean Nigga?)
Marw: Matlab (Abey angrezi mat bol…who bhi Bum)
Sher: AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH (Should have purchased a condom)
Marw: Pata nahin yaar (Gira doon??)

Coming back to the original question now…how does this relate to the song lyrics? Well I am a big fan of Kubrick and I totally like to leave the blog open ended…a chance for you guys to rack your brains.

Respect to the two greats…EXCUSHHH ME PUHLEEES!!