Yet another top ten list

As with almost every other discussion with Balls the one from yesterday ended the same way: Tera top 10 XYZ of all time kya hai? (Yesterday's XYZ being Hindi songs).

My list as of yesterday looked something like this:
10. JJWS - Pehla nasha
9. Masoom - Tujhse Naaraz Nahin Zindagi
8. Yaarana - Chookar mere mann ko
7. Chaudvi ka Chaand - Chaudvi ka Chaand
6. Yaadon ki Baarat - Chura Liya hain tumne
5. Padosan - Ek chatur naar
4. Golmaal - Aane waala pal
3. Safar - Zindagi ka safar (Sorry Balls, a bit of cheating here :-) )
2. Kabhi kabhi - Kabhi kabhi mere dil me
1. Pyaasa - Jaane woh kaise log the

What does your Top-10-Hindi-songs-of-all-time list look like?

Hum Jeet gaye...Hum jeet gaye

Immediately after Sreesanth lapped up the now world famous skier, I received an email from vcd "In the immortal words of Ram Singh from Lagaan - Hum jeet gaye! Hum jeet gaye"!!! Its been a day and I still haven't gotten over that sensational bit of news. I, an enternal purist always had my doubts about this format of the game. Taking another cue from Lagaan I thought it was "sadiyal, bhaddha sa khel". Now that India has won, I absolutely have no doubt that it would be humongously popular in India culminating in more tournaments and better packaging which in my opinion will lead to replacing the 50 over game.

Most of the blogs or articles I've read have re-iterated the fact that India have found a new father figure in Dhoni and the togetherness is at a new level etc etc. We've always been a nation who has adored their batsman much more than anything else just like Pakistan is obsessed with their pace bowlers. Dhoni was the first person to point out that this victory was a tribute to some exceptional bowling on our part throughout this tournament. I would like to go a step ahead and point out the influence of Venky Prasad and one of all time favorite ODI cricketers Robin Singh for their influence.

Its no co-incidence that our bowling has improved by leaps and bounds after Venky was brought on board. Zaheer and Arpy consistently troubled the Pommies during our summer tour to England. Arpy and Irfan then carried on the good work into T-20 WC as well which eventually led to our victory. Our fielding was in fantastic shape...a direct hit at a crucial juncture in almost every match was enough evidence on our sharpness on the field and more importantly the key ingredient that we have been missing for a while. I've always felt that a good coach would be the one who has had to struggle and really work hard for moderate success. They could instill the right work ethic into a youngster to help mould his career better. Venky and Robin just about fit the bill...moderately talented but hardworking nonetheless. They deserve a big round of applause along with the adulation for the players.

Somewhere deep down I kinda feel bad for Pakistan as well. They have bowled their heart out...fielded fantastically and led smartly by Shoaib (the move to bring in the spinners as soon Yuvraj walked in was a master stroke). Both India and Pakistan have brought colour back into the game of cricket....much like the way I used to enjoy Holi in the days of yore. That's why I found it appropriate to end the blog with a video of Dhoni and SHoaib celebrating their success (along with Darryl Hair) to the tune of the legendary Bhojpuri song by Shenaz Akthar "Kaptaan bhool ke kaptaani". Enjoy!!! ... And ofcourse....Bharat Maata ki Jai!!!

Kanti Thoughts

He woke one morning
Wondering what he saw
A dream to him, A nightmare for others
Was he a good person?

He wondered about things
That could have been different
Had he been different
or could people have been more tolerant?

People say a sorry
And they really mean it
But would it matter for the one
Who suffers the consequences everyday?

A plea to listen to him
A plea to talk to him
The plea fulfilled but,
A taunt of being needy
Was it really worth it?

A friend of yester-years
A stranger in the present
Was the human ever a friend
Or was an acquaintance of yore?

He lived his life alone
For the past score and more years
He wondered does he like company
Or would it be a hassle?

A peek into my pensieve

I’ve had long drawn discussions with my old friends Vcd and Todd about the veracity of the popular notion that “Federer is the best player to have lifted a tennis racquet”. As I so often do, I tend to stick my money in stats from the past. I haven’t seen a player of the class of a Sampras who in the midst of greatness all around him stood head and shoulders above everyone else. Would Sampras be considered as a legend if Federer was playing in the same era? Probably not; but neither would Federer. These are just random musings on the part of an old man though. I still tend to look at facts and the fact is that I can’t get a certain US Open final out of my mind and that is where I need to delve deep into my pensieve to dig out the greatest upset that humbled a cocky Federer.

It was just another fine day in NewYork where the crowd had resigned to yet another youngster’s decimation by the hands of Roger. Little did they realize that this strapping, ebullient, Metro-sexual young man had the talent of a Sampras, the work ethic of a Courier, the grace of Edberg and the determination of a Lendl. Never had one seen the complete package in a wild card entry ever before. He ran like a gazelle covering every inch of concrete with consummate ease. His nonchalant wafts and magical racquet struck a deep chord with the rapacious crowd who egged his mastery and erupted at his opponent’s errors. He was a true son of the soil and the hallowed turf was shrinking its womb to etch his footprint where a vast legion of warriors had succumbed valiantly. The large contingent of Federer-haters including yours truly had finally found their voice after nine gruelling years of staying mute.

Federer face was ashen as if he had just been violated by a 12 inch alpha specimen. His precise if not perfect back hand had completely deserted him, his once feared fore hand was being mauled by incisive ground strokes and his unruffled demeanor was sullied by his rants towards the chair and his incessant frustrated hissing. The first set flew by like the cool autumn breeze that was blowing through the ‘Meadows’. The 6-4 score line against Federer appeared a lot closer than it actually was. Things though did not take a turn towards the worse; the youthful exuberance of the young man and his heart stopping plays lit up the azure sky; reminiscent of Sampras in the days of yore. A running back hand followed a delicate lob, every drop shot was accentuated by a fearsome forehand cross court passing shot and each precise first serve was complimented by an even better array of volleys. The second set was an even shorter affair: 6-2. This was Providence in flesh, justice was being served cold!

I sat there with my mind racing ahead of time imagining this young rookie lifting a rare piece of silverware amidst years of ruthless domination. I quickly snapped out of my halcyon thoughts for fear of bewitching the foreclosure of what lay ahead. But nothing of that nature happened; the best was yet to come. The relentless machine gun fire from the rookie’s racquet kept pace with the racing heart beats of every human being inside the arena. His iridescent presence beneath the luminous floodlights and an incandescent moon bequeathed the master of his glowing past. A 6-0 bagel set in the final was a fitting way to end Federer’s humiliation, just as the way he has humiliated others. The night was young but to me, a new day had already dawned.

The scenes after the young man’s victory are as fresh in my mind as the virgin snow. Even though I’m entering the fag end of my sojourn, I can never forget the euphoria of having seen my closest buddies beat one of the best player’s ever. If only he had continued longer, the question that I posed at the very beginning would have never been raised. He will always, to me, be a man who fought disability to emerge triumphant. That image of him lifting the trophy in one hand and a Jackie Shroffish thumbs-up with the other will forever be etched in my mind. Click here to reminisce a forgotten great.

I salute you my dear friend Marw.

For want of a nail - the kingdom was lost.

The US-India Atomic Energy Act promises to be the one of the most crucial treaties of the modern times. This is an act that not only establishes co-operation between the largest and the richest democracy's - but is also an harbinger to enhanced ties between these two giants.

In a time when even the signatory members of the controversial NPT - countries such as Iran and the once ratified North-Korea are facing flak from the rest of the world for developing nuclear technologies - here we have a non-signatory member being offered an option for technology transfer. This move is not only unprecedented, but also a great moral victory on a global stage for India.

It is an win-win situation for both countries as one can see it. India - a developing country facing acute power crisis gets accelerated access to advanced technology to fulfill its power needs and also establishes friendly ties with the most powerful and like-minded friend that one can have. United States on the other hand has clear commercial benefits to reap - and the added advantage of cozying up to a sleeping giant that is well on its way to wake up and dominate the coming century. It is in the interest of both countries to continue to build their relationship to next levels.

The deal looks all set to augur a new era in world politics - one that not only confirms the eastward shifting of the balance of world power - but in a way, also signals an unspoken acceptance to India's concerns over the nuclear-discrimination caused by NPT .

All of it was looking good - until a few spoil-sports, started creating obstacles - for reasons that seems to be inspired from local and petty political considerations.

It is sad to see the state of affairs.

Those opposing the deal, do not even site concrete reasons/solutions/alternatives to solve the energy crisis the country is facing. They talk about dangers of getting 'too close' to the capitalist powers of the United States - while conveniently ignore the very poignant fact that India has been registering record GDP rates only due to the money flowing in from this 'capitalist' country.

It is my hope that such short sighted political agendas do not derail the chance of a greater good-will and common-sense to prevail.

It reminds me of a poem I heard when I was perhaps seven years old. May be - the members of CPI should brush up their third standard literature syllabus - they surely seem to be behaving like seven year olds !

For want of a nail the shoe was lost.
For want of a shoe the horse was lost.
For want of a horse the rider was lost.
For want of a rider the battle was lost.
For want of a battle the kingdom was lost.
And all for the want of a horseshoe nail.

Heres hoping that for the want of the nail of petty polics we do not loose us the kingdom of friendly co-operative co-existence.

Relics

I'd be the first one to candidly admit that Ballsy's call of throwing me out of this blog was so freakin justified. Clearly since "paani sar se upar chala gaya tha ", I thought of ending my prolonged dormancy in contributing to this hallowed space. Also, to infuse some contribution, I'd like everyone to comment on what they make out of this rhyme specifically highlighting the "pattern" it follows.

Quote:

That thing that should not be is
The unnamed feeling I so cease to miss
Unforgiven, my heart reaches out to thee
Master of puppets oh please help me be

Reflection is a mode I need to be in
Down in a hole that I am, guilty of sin
A rotten apple, is what I feel of me
High hopes, that I'll reach the shore I no longer see

Vicariously, as I live my mundane life
No longer sober in this despicable strife
Cemetary gates, is all I can see
An empty page my eulogy would be

All these hollow years, I tried in vain
Prayed for that beacon to take away my pain
A low man's lyric it seems, I can't reason why
Goodbye blue sky as each day goes awry

Welcome to the machine, is what life did say
The trooper that I am, I will have my way
As judgement beckons on this reckoning day
I won't be a man in the box, sinking into the clay

Under a pale grey sky, a brave new world shall arise
Coming back to life, that I'd severed all ties
I'll win the fight against the harvester of sorrow
And turn the page to a new tomorrow

- End Quote

~ Aup

Biggest Kanti so far ...

Today read the biggest Kanti (or as some may say "Kaante") of my life in a Fortune Cookie at Pei Wei.

It said

" Life is full of small decisions - like white or brown rice"

Note: I know I am giving it on a platter but at-least there will be some renewed interest in the blog

HDTV - A Pain!

I think I will no longer watch TV on HDTV. Infact, I am considering not buying HD-DVD’s too. I am even going to cut my subscription of HDTV and buy an analog TV with a modest 19″ screen. I am just tired of HDTV. You may wonder why such a drastic step. The world over, people are moving from normal TV experience to HD TV and I want to to go back. Well, I want to go back for precisely the reasons people want to get HD TV.

The advantages of HDTV are

Picture Clarity
I don’t think I need picture clarity anymore. Watching Pamela Anderson on the early morning ‘Today’ TV show and seeing the innumerable wrinkles she has was the final nail in the coffin. She looked all old, and the clarity in the TV enabled me to look beyond her ten coats of makeup. There was fat at the wrong places and suddenly she fell from a sexy baywatch temptation to an old woman trying to hide behind makeup. All my juvenile fantasies are now lost in the sea of lines and wrinkles. The only thing for what it was worth it is lost. Who needs brains anyways! Its just overrated.

The appearance of being surreal
Now, who wants that to see how real it looks as people on Fear Factor are eating worms. The worms look too real. I need instant gratification from the TV without the ‘ewww’ feeling.

The fall of Diva’s
Suddenly, Michelle Pfeiffer’s smile looks crooked, Pamela’s bod doesnt look all that perfect, infact you can count all the breakouts and pimples of Lindsay Lohan. Julia Robert’s vein across her forehead looks like a snake. You can see how tired an actress looks inspite of appearing cheerful. How, the top 100 sexiest women no longer rate on your list anymore.

Then, you see the oldies, the analog movies and you still like Ingrid Bergman, Greta Garbo, Audrey Hepburn. They still occupy the pedestal you have kept for them. And then return back to the TV clip of Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie and you know how painful it is even to watch their chronic whining. And I purely attribute it to my crystal clear home theatre system which amplies the same. They need to have some artificial intelligence and have some pre-recoded nice voices.

So while I see a clip of Oprah and Dr.Phil and see what a huge crap it is. I think my HDTV and crystal clear sound from the Home Theatre system are to be blamed. I am going to go back to analog TV where most of the reality is smoothed out and the sound makes you skip few words which makes it more likeable. I hope this truly does the trick for a shallow and superficial person like me. I am deeply scarred and anguished by crystal clear TV and Sound.

Wrath

Here is my 2nd offering on the Se7en deadly sins after Lust.

The green yonder where my brothers grazed
Is strewn with men putrefied or an amputee
My pure azure sky has turned a fiery grey
Led me to believe in revenge and anarchy.

Marching around like a dumb sheep
To uphold a few rogues' cataclysm
My blood fertilizes the land
While you feast on flesh and Rum.

You raped my women and poisoned my land
Whilst I tremble standing atop my debris
I'm normally not a praying man, but I
Wish HE bestows upon you pain and travesty.

This spite is sucking me deeper
Burning soul nailed in your greedy crucifix
Vengeance will rise from the ashes
Towering like a ravaging Phoenix.

Armed with broken bones and rotting flesh
I carry on undeterred
An eye for an eye, will only
Pave way to open my Third.

i've found my non-profit

i have always been confused about charity (just like i have been confused about everything else).

* Why donate ?
- "because you should give back to society" is the most common answer I've encountered. Charity for me is helping someone get out of the rut and make a life for themselves. It should not involve just giving away. I've always felt - "Help not Donate" is the answer. There should be no free lunches.

* How to choose the right institution ?
- Most institutions I knew of were involved in the business of giving away. The feedback loop of what your money was being used for is generally mediocre. All in all, the gratification (in this case, the feeling that you made a difference) is not strong enough to warrant more donations. (I know it sounds against the idea of charity, but appropriate incentives always motivate people better)

I came across Kiva.org today. This to my mind appears to be the perfect charity. It resolves most of my confusions mentioned above. Based on the now famous model of Microfinance, it lets you lend money to someone who needs a loan. After the period of loan, you get repaid where you can choose to re-lend the money. This resolves both of my dilemma's mentioned above. It helps someone get going with their business and help them make a life for themselves. You are involved with the business you are lending to. The feedback loop is great because there is a journals tab which lets you know about the progress of the business at regular intervals.

So go ahead - Change Lives !

My Proud Alma Mater

Here you go guys....my school in the news for all the wrong reasons. This dude was the vice-principal even when I was a student. Now u know where I gained an exemplary vocab from!

Songs that stayed on!

I am compiling up a list of the songs I identified with. But somehow, I feel each song has a line, a verse or a strain which has pulled me towards it. Each one of them I have identified it with an incident in my life. What are yours? Why don't you all put up yours.

1. But it rained - Parikrama
This one identifies my first and the biggest ache in my life. This is by the Indian rock band Parikrama and these thoughts stay with me each and everyday.

The ache is long gone but the never keeps staring along
The waters in the seas are high
and all the sand castles have drowned

2. Stairway to Heaven - Led Zep
This song gave me some of the best friends I have in my life. This song inspired me to chose paths I would never have ventured. These lines still inspire me

Yes there are two paths you can go by
but in the long run
There’s still time to change the road you’re on

3. Cats in the Cradle - Harry Chaplin
I hear this song as a reminder to the irony of modern life. A life I have seen affected more of us than any other. A constant balance between self and others. A reminder to slow down in the world of pace.

And as I hung up the phone it occurred to me
He’d grown up just like me
My boy was just like me

4. Going to California - Led Zep
This has been a song to find someone near. To find someone dear. But this has been a kind of song where I would say, just to find a friend. Also some hilarious insight of something I recently figured.

Ride a white mare in the footsteps of dawn
Tryin to find a woman whos never, never, never been born.
Standing on a hill in my mountain of dreams,
Telling myself its not as hard, hard, hard as it seems.


5. NIB - Black Sabbath
This is so true and probably the song which talks about the dark side and evil that I was impressed. The song was also to tell me whenever I swayed from my principles to get me back to the right track. Although I am quoting only 4 lines, this is one song you have to listen or read it in its entirety.

Now I have you with me, under my power
Our love grows stronger now with every hour
Look into my eyes, you will see who I am
my name is Lucifer, please take my hand


6. Right in Two - Tool
This is what is happening now. As we fight for crumbs and as we create borders on borderless areas, emotions, logic, prayers.

Fight over the clouds, over wind, over sky
Fight over life, over blood, over prayer,
overhead and light
Fight over love, over sun,
over another, Fight…


7. Take away my pain - Dreamtheatre
This is the song I have identified with at every point in my life where I have been emotionally hurt. This is where I have done a reality check of my life at each point in my life. This song means a lot to me in planting my feet back to the ground. This song helps me be human again and not be over-excited.

Take away my pain
Leave the cold outside
Please don’t let it rain
Don’t stumble on my pride
Take away my pain
I’m not frightened any more

8. Kandisa - Indian Ocean
My first song where I fell in love with the song the first time I heard it. A pure entertaining song with modern and traditional percurssions. The first time I received this over email and I guess it was love at first sight.

Not the lyrics, but the instruments you need to listen too.

9. Comfortably Numb - Floyd
This song has been a constant fight between an emotional side to rational side of my life. A fight between where I want the emotional side to win, but the rational is dominant.

I cant explain, you would not understand.
This is not how I am.
I have become comfortably numb.

Cricket circa. 2009

A Friend forwarded to me an article with prophetic predictions for the Indian cricket team in a few years time. A hilarious read.


------------------------------------------------------
The Times Of India 14th Feb, 2009:

India is playing in a 5 nation tournament ; the other countries being Uganda, Sudan, Papua new guinea and the mighty Bolivia. Today is a must win match for India against tournament favourites Bolivia for a berth in the semi finals. The winner of the tournament will fight for a place to enter the top 35 rankings in the world.

On the morning of the match, a strategy session is being held by Greg and Rahul. This is how it goes.

Greg: Boys, this is one of the most important matches in the last three years. We have to beat Bolivia. Lets go through the batting line up and the bowling line up in this meeting.

Greg: So Sourav, you will open right?

Sourav: I don't know. Bolivia has a pace bowler who only bowls short pitch deliveries. His pace is consistently in the range 55-60 miles /hour. I cannot handle all that pace.

Greg: Oh, thats ok. He won't dare to bowl short pitch stuff against the Indian batsman (we have such good credentials). If he does by mistake, just to make a statement to the media, get Hit Wicket and come back. Such non sense should not be tolerated.

Greg: So who will partner Sourav.

Rahul: I think Sehwag should. He looked in form in the last game against Sudan. He hit 5 fours between first slip and second slip before he got caught at second slip. I think he is in the pink of his form and he should open.

Greg: Thats good.

Greg: Sachin, you will bat at four ... ok?

Sachin: I don't know.I have to go shopping at 11. That means I can't bat beyond ten overs.

Greg: Sourav and Sehwag will last till six overs. So, you will come then. Don't worry, just play your natural game and follow your instincts. You will go by ten overs.

Greg: So Dhoni, you will keep?

Dhoni: I am not keeping. Last time, I kept for three hours. My hair is getting spoiled. I have thousands of lice in my hair. As a result, the cows in my village have started snubbing me and my advances. These days, dragonflies have started staying in my hair as their food lice is there. I need a haircut, I am not playing.

Greg: Please play just one more match, its the mightly Bolivians, just one last one. Please !

Dhoni: Ok. But don't do this next time.

Greg meanwhile was going through the batting averages and noticed that Dravid had the longest stay at the crease for the last 67 matches. So he asked Dravid to give a presentation in front of the team as to what motivated him so much and what was the secret to his concentration.

Dravid: My wife is extremely ugly. So, I try to stay as long as possible away from her. That is why I play a low risk game (In the last game, he hit 3 runs from 92 balls). If I get out, I have to go back to her.

Everyone starts applauding. What an inspirational cricketer.

Now it is time to decide on the bowling line up.

Greg: Obviously Zaheer is opening. He was brilliant last game. (Zaheer had bowled only 23 wides in the last match and he picked up three wickets. The secret to this brilliant bowling performance was a result of a mentoring session from Venkatesh Prasad. Prasad told him that to bowl from mid off and aim at Third slip. As a result, Zaheer returned with the best figures in the match.)

Greg: Off-late I have noticed that Rahul has been facing a lot of pressure and so we have decided to come up with Batting, Bowling and Fielding Captain to relieve Rahul of some of the responsibility.

Greg: I have noticed that Munaf Patel has stayed not out in the last three matches (all the other batsmen had got out by then). I admire the commitment of this lad and as a result he is the Batting Captain.

Greg: I was also going through this figure. Sourav has been involved in 177 run outs. But he himself has never got out. He values his wicket so much. I think we all need to Congratulate him on the price he sets for his wicket. Sourav, you are the running-between-wickets captain.

Greg: Anil has been sitting on the bench for the last three years. He keeps taking snaps throughout the match. He is such a team-man. I think we need to recognize this loyalty. Anil, you are the Bowling Captain.

Greg: Harbhajan is the fielding captain.

Rahul: But he dropped the catch in the last match when he dived to his right to take it.

Greg: At least he dived in the right direction.

After this intense brainstorming session, India looks all set to take on Bolivia. Please pray for the team's success.

------------------------------------------------------

Turn the page

Scores have perished
In the lust for the bust
Yet another brother
Officially bites the dust.

Yesterday, somewhere around the crack of dawn, a Continental flight inbound from New Delhi made a safe landing on the airstrip of Newark airport and a horde of passengers streamed out, some heading towards the baggage claim area, others towards domestic terminals to catch their connector, while the “racially pretty cool” ones towards Customs and Immigration. Amongst the sea of travelers was a brown man sporting gelled hair and a look of brightness that would belie the weariness that usually comes in the wake of a journey spanning thousands of miles and almost one whole Earth-day.

That hint of sparkle, that extra spring in his step was borne out of realization of a looming change in his marital status. A telepathic person, after translating Bhojpuri into English, could almost hear our man constantly repeat this in his head – “You ain’t gonna use your hand no more! You’re gonna get laid soon!!”

Yes. As we all know, Bhaiyya is one small step away from joining the ever-growing club of single Indian men who are losing their (awfully prolonged period of) single status faster than ever imagined before. The scorecard now reads:

Pushkar Pulastya        b Cupid (lock, stock and below his barrel)
Years: 29
Balls: 2

I can foresee myriad changes in Bhaiyya’s life, hereforth. I can picture him coming home from work, possessed and intoxicated with an aphrodisiacal cocktail of testosterone and oxytocin (one word description - "love"), switching the tube on for recreation and reaching for the remote to turn closed captions on. The American Idol is on and fortunately, he is saved just in time by a commercial break. A Dove ad appears on the screen and with a swish of the wand, no pun intended, Bhaiyya is transported back in time. “Dove” morphs into “Jai” soap and his senses fondly cuddle with a melodic jingle:

Pehla pyaar, Laaye jeevan mein bahaar, Pehla pyaar
Jab tan ko choo-aye, Jaise baatein kare, Pehla pyaar....

With one eye twitching ala “Mungerilal”, he gets lost in his world of imagination. The dulcet tune now shifts gears to one with a faster beat and a sense of purpose. He lets out a gentle smile, his eyelids close and music fills his ears:

Bol sakhi bol tera raaz kya hai
Kya hai teri khushi ka raaz,
Tu bata de mujhko aaj,
Garbh nirodhak goliyaan
Mala-D hai mera raaz

I’m sure the waves of change would cause significant amends to the Winamp playlist on his computer too. Gone are the days of Metallica and their energy and angst, it’s time for Altaf Raja to echo Bhaiyya’s emotions thru this Grammy-deserving number:

Tumse kitna pyaar hai, Dil mein utar kar dekh lo,
Na yakeen aaye to phir, Na yakeen aaye to phir,
Dil badal kar dekh lo

I don’t know the extent of how deep Cupid has entrenched the arrow in his heart but this brilliant Bappi Da's creation might also be in the list of probables:

Pyaar bina chain kahaan re
Pyaar bina chain kahaan re
Sona nahi chaandi nahi pyaar to mila
Arey pyaar kar le

Prior experience tells me Mr. Pulastya is slowly going to develop a seething hatred for Alexander Graham Bell’s invention. I have advised him to buy a stirrup to rest his hand on during marathon sessions, unless of course, he’s holding the device with the hand that has “exclusively” developed muscles over the years much like a tennis player’s serving hand (The only difference is the muscles on his hand have no correlation to Tennis whatsoever!). And considering what’s going to transpire in those talks, I suspect he would need to use his prejudiced muscular hand anyway; so stirrup is going to be the likely solution. A couple of weeks down the road, Bhaiyya would be found calling Verizon customer service, “Uh hello, do you have a plan that could give me 6500 daytime minutes per month??” Phone conversations are gonna be served with generous helpings of flirtatious remarks in Bhojpuri:

“Aapke saath baatein karke bahut sahi-sa lag raha hai…bas ab Maee (“May”, in English) ka intazaar kar raha hoon!”
“Ajee itne natkhat bhi na bano”
“Abhi se hi humse darogi bhagyavaan, to phir shaadi ke baad kya hoga!!”

Getting hold of Bhaiyya on his cell is going to be harder than determining the paternal identity of Anna Nicole Smith’s daughter.

Premonition and indiscriminate usage of Kantiesque allusions aside, the truth of the fact is - Bhaiyya has finally shed his skin of singlehood. I saw a couple of pictures last night and indeed, the couple looks very good together - my heartiest congratulations and best wishes to both of them. Apart from hoping our man doesn’t compel Bhabhi to dial 911 on their first night, I also sincerely hope they have a great marital life ahead.

Take it easy, brother!

dhoom dhadaka

this ad was running during Holi.

Divide Pakistan ?

There has been an interesting and even outrageous series of advertisements, articles and even a book detailing the role of Pakistan in fostering terrorism. The author of the book is a France based gentleman called Jamaluddin Syed.

Mr Syed raises some interesting arguments about Pakistan's role in world terrorism - especially pointing to the grooming of the "terrorist mindset". He claims that no other country in the world other than Pakistan - be it N. Korea, Iran or Syria, actually "groom the terrorist mindset" as Pakistan does.

He further delves into the cause of creation of this "terrorist mentality" - arguing that the manner in which Pakistan was created in 1947 had a large role to play.

He also offers an outrageous but interesting solution to the problem - advocating that the International community initiate a division of Pakistan to help curb the terrorist mindset from spreading.

A lot of it ends up sounding very far-fetched - but a very new interpretation none the less.

Check out this site - especially the videos

http://www.dividepakistan.blogspot.com

Disclaimer : All these are the views and opinions expressed by Mr. Jamaluddin on his web site - not necessarily mine.

India Booming !

India's economic march in the past few years needs no introduction - the world has been witnessing it for some time now. But even keeping that in the mind, the sheer force with which India is rising boggles the mind. Just a cursorary look at the Forbes List released today throws up some amazing numbers.

The Ambanis - Mukesh and Anil, are placed at #14 and # 18 this year - last year they were #56 and #104. Anil Ambani has gained a net 12 Billion this year, while Mukesh has gained some 10 Billion. In 365 days. Pause a bit to think that they have not even started their dream projects of setting up mega retail chains and the other mega ventures.

India now has more billionaires than the economic powerhouse of Japan. India has more billionaires in the top 20 list than any other country - bar the US.

But that just covers the the richest of the rich, you say ? - Look again. And look again carefully.

India's GDP is growing at a net rate of about 9 % for quiet some time, the forex reserves have never been higher, and the BSE index breaks some record almost every day you check.

The Infrastructure is growing. The Airline Industry is opening up. India just signed a deal with the US to generate nuclear power. India is one of the premier countries working in the field of rocket science. The Indian pharmaceutical companies are booming - competing to take over the divisions of US Pharmaceutical companies that they would not even dream of competing with 10 years back.

The largest aluminum company in the world now is India's Hindalco. The worlds largest steel company, Mittal Steel, has set its future interests in India. Tata Steel succeded in an outrageous bid to take over the very reason for its former rulers power - British steel - the very company that fueled Britain's Industrial revolution. All the major car manufacturers have their eyes set on India to fund their growth in the coming years. Let us not even speak of the many smaller industries and companies that are trying to get their foot in the door.

This list does not even talk about the software and the services sector. We do not even need to go there.

I had met an american friend when I was in Pune few months back and he had said to me then - "I still do not see what the fuss is about - the roads, the cars, the infrastructure is nowhere near what is present in the western countries "
My reply to him would be this - " Yes - we still have a long way to go, but consider this - If we are doing so well with what we have right now - can you imagine where we will be - when all these problems you talk about are dealt with ? "

To put things into perspective, recall this. The United States - which is an economical behemoth of almost unrealistic proportions, was near bankruptcy by the year 1929/1930. The backbone of the US - its interstate highway system was started in the 1950's. The USA beat USSR to the moon in the 1960's. Thousands of Nuclear weapons were piled up - just as a gentle reminder to the world. By the 1970's , US was one of the foremost powerhouses in the world - powered by a generation of brilliant industrious americans - those that we call the "Industrial Baby Boomers"

Now take a look at Modern India. Post Independance - upto the 1970's India was near bankruptcy. After opening up the economy in the 1990's- the money started flowing in. India developed indigenous missiles, beat Pakistan in the "Nuclear Club" race - oh yeah - our gentle reminder to the rest of the world. The Golden Quadrilateral was completed by 2005. The Railways - managed by a rustic leader - set record profits in 2006.

Lady History loves repeating herself and the stage is perfectly set for India. It is for India to take the lead and set the trail for the next century - and the young generation of Indians have to shoulder the responsibility of acting as the "Software Baby Boomers" of this century. We must not fail her.

Indians form the largest pool of the worlds educated youngsters. Millions of young educated people - living in a free and democratic country. Millions of them eager to get a chance to prove themselves. Millions who, from the very day they are born - are pushed by everyone around towards just one goal - to be successful.

Something is bound to happen - one way or the other. The road ahead is long and a lot has to be done. We all know that no work is done until it is really done.

The world still looks on as India is waking. As India is Rising. She must not forget her tryst with destiny.

Lust

I'm starting to write a new Series on the Seven Deadly Sins.
Here is my first offering - Lust.

Gorging the apple that fell from the tree
Poisoned the minds who were once so free
Enslaved by the serpent and swayed by gust
Forbidden fruit had sown its seeds of lust.

The yearning, the aching, the endless desire
Hordes of angels adding fuel to fire
The Bull forever craves for the garden of Rose
Deflower the lasses to quench all its woes.

Beauty may lie in the eye of the beholder
Adoring only 'one' makes love grow older
Forced to release the bellowing Beast
The fangs of the serpent has roses for feast.

Strutting proudly his scars of virility
Donning the face of a new found nobility
Planting the seeds in each and every womb
The desire rests only when he lies in his tomb.

The apple that fell was coated with decree
Tree of Life pleaded mankind to agree
It’s not in our nature to conform and to trust
Love will erode but eternal is lust.

-Balls

Warren Buffet Quote

Read this somewhere, it was said by Warren Buffet in one of his Berkshire Hathaway speeches

"The line separating investment and speculation, which is never bright and clear, becomes blurred still further when most market participants have recently enjoyed triumphs. Nothing sedates rationality like large doses of effortless money. After a heady experience of that kind, normally sensible people drift into behavior akin to that of Cinderella at the ball. They know that overstaying the festivities -- that is, continuing to speculate in companies that have gigantic valuations relative to the cash they are likely to generate in the future -- will eventually bring on pumpkins and mice. But they nevertheless hate to miss a single minute of what is one helluva party. Therefore, the giddy participants all plan to leave just seconds before midnight. There’s a problem, though: They are dancing in a room in which the clocks have no hands."

Source : Wikiquote

Guru

Who is John Galt? This is the line that comes to my mind after watching the monologue of Abhishek Bachchan a.k.a Gurukant Desai at the climax of the movie. It had to be this way for Guru to be a hero but as Roshan Sheth a.k.a Thapar said he is both a genius and a thug truly identifies the character of the movie.

I had to watch this movie over the hype about it and its likeness to the Ambanis and their struggle and I would say it was a typical Mani Ratnam movie. It has to have an item number as well as a young girl singing about her dreams to hardcore actions and human emotions with family and the whole bouquet. I will say it was a well made movie but the protagonist being potrayed as right at the end with hints to the governments shortcomings were erroneous. The tax evasions, duping shareholders and other items were not shown in the climax but the licence raj of the government, the stranglehold of the market by individuals were depicted till the end.

The end was abrupt. It showed one needs to bend the laws to create money. True the laws were restrictive at that time, but I will not say Guru was a John Galt. He was just a clever manipulator who understood what he needed to do to earn money and flourish in a business which was not to be a fly by night thing but a sustainable 'bijness'.

Over and all it represented the life of Dhirubhai Ambani, his clash with Nusli Wadia or Bombay Dyeing's fight with Reliance. The petrochemical venture, the clash with Indian Express and Arun Shourie. Why else would Mani Ratnam do a private screening for Mukesh Ambani prior to releasing the movie? Inspite of the declaration of fictional characters in the begining of the movie.

Abhishek and Mithun were brilliant in the movie. The songs were ok and I would have preferred seeing Vidya Balan instead of Aishwarya in that role of Guru's wife. Madhavan was under-utilized but effective. Over and all strictly pista movie according to me.

Trivia I observed:

Aishwarya Rai has a relationship after every successful movie with her co-actor.

Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam - Salman Khan
Kyun! Ho Gaya Na - Vivek Oberoi
Guru - Abhishekh Bachchan

Lazy Man's Lyric

Let me just put up a disclaimer saying that what you read will not fit the billing that the title has. I couldn't come up with anything else than a cheap shot at this great Met number. Just lazy ramblings during lunchtime on a Friday afternoon. So, here it is :

2 weeks since I started my new job
WFH, a dream fulfilled at last
Those Siemens 10'oclock meetings
Seem like distant past

Those shivery winter mornings
To warm my car, I would wait
No matter how hard I tried
I would always show up late

12th Jan the day I left
Was nothing special so to say
Ballsy wrote my farewell email
And clearly saved my day

Past 2 weeks have been interesting
With lotsa new things to learn
What I've done so far is bollocks
To justify the salary that I earn

A couch potato, I have become
I F5 rediff, Freaks Inc and spam
"Old habits die hard", I'd say
The loser that I am

Every new day in this job signals
The opening of a new vista
Despite my best efforts
This rhyme will still be pista

- Aup

wtf ?

i am left speechless.

Congratulations Goli !!!

Maria: So very graceful

After the terrible disappointment of the much touted ManU Arsenal clash, I decided to sit back and take my mind off the game. And what better way to do that than a compelling foreign language movie. I’ve been hearing loads of positive reviews of Maria full of grace that I decided to rent it on Netflix and I surely wasn’t disappointed with the final outcome.

The story is set in troubled Colombia shown through the eyes of an ebullient 17 yr old Maria Alvarez. She initially works at a florist factory separating thorns from roses. She is badly ill-treated to the extent that she quits her job even when she is one of the primary bread winners for her familia. Life takes a turn for the worse when she discovers she is pregnant with the baby of her boyfriend with whom she shares a relationship bordering hatred. The upswing in that relationship is that the feelings are mutual. Frustrated with her life in the remote town, she decides to move to Bogota and work as a ‘Mule’ (drug runner).

Her first assignment is to transport ‘Cocaina’ to New York. If successful, she would earn a fat pay-check of 5000$ which constitute to a zillion Colombian Pesos. I was startled at the way they’ve shown open drug transport from Colombia to the US. Maria is made to swallow small ‘Latex’ pellets filled with Cocaine. The obvious danger is, that if one of the pellets breaks inside her body, she would OD and die. The other is that if she shits, she would lose a few pellets and with that would have to face the wrath of the Colombian drugs lords both in the US and back home. The compelling story takes one more incredible twist where she is detained by the US authorities. They are of course aware of Mules and suspect that she might be one of them. They order an X-Ray to be performed on her to cross-examine their doubts.

I won’t go further into the story line of the movie to spoil it for anyone who decides to watch the movie after reading this. It is a very realistic story of the dreams of people from Latin America and their perception of US as the land of milk and honey. Catalina Sandino Moreno’s debut performance is just outstanding. The rave reviews and a debut Best actress Oscar nomination are richly deserved. Her subtle expressions, blank face in times to crisis and the joyful exuberance of a 17 year old are a treat to watch. Watch this one and you surely won’t be disappointed.

Rating 7.8/10

A valiant fight..I would just say I don't care

As an always optimistic, die-hard Indian cricket fan I am hurt and disappointed by the sudden turn of events on the fourth day in Cape Town, which led to this heart breaking series loss vs SA. A lack of killer instict is not a new thing but what is more disheartening is that the practice of giving it all away when the moment is ours is back again.

It is a no-brainer that when the series has to be decided by one good batting performance it is the senior members in the side that need to put their hands up. In India's case, the senior-most, batting legends.. so to say, froze like chickens and were demonstrated what it means to be positive by people who have less than 50 tests to show amongst themselves.

There will be post-mortems galore and people will still go on and say that it was a valiant fight by India especially after an utterly forgettable and dismal one-day series. There will be things said that both teams were evenly matched and no one even thought that India would stick up to South Africa and they gave them a very tough fight.

For what its worth(it wont even be worth scraps probably) I seriously think that if we perform to our abilities ( that has never happened and probably never will) we are a better team than South Africa any given day of the year. I think that we lost the series 1-2 rather than SA winning it 2-1.We got to be ashamed of abject surrender in Durban and Cape Town and some heads need to roll and rightly so.

Rahul Dravid said that the guys showed a lot of character even though the result didn't go their way. I respectfully disagree !

Quote...Unquote

I was reading Quote..Unquote on cricinfo and thought that something of that sort can easily be compiled for the numerous hilarious, some not so hilarous quotes by fellow Freaks (+ non Freaks) over a period of time. Call it either lack of motivation to write about my Sedona mountain jeep ride experience or the inclination to come up with something of my own or maybe just compulsive writing to kick-start Freaks Inc's 2007. People have this uncanny ability to surpass Kubrick or sometimes better Kanti when it comes to deep, thoughtful and insightful comments which are utterly meaningless. More often than not it just perplexes the listener and he doesnt know what hit him. Here are a few which I found worth mentioning.
PISTA

"Because...its not easy"

Aup's friend R when being asked why is it so difficult for her to sit at one place and have breakfast

"Basically what they serve is essentially Afghani food"

Aup when asked what do you get at the Afghani restaurant Helmand

KULFI

"Actually..the work which I am going to do at XYZ (my new company) involves a lot of
customer interaction"

Aup when asked how he plans to go about doing the knowledge transfer to his team mates before he leaves his present company

"Arre awesome movie hai.. usme Rajdoot(motorcycle) hai"

Aup's roommate Chintan's first reaction while he came home and Balls was watching Chashme Badhdoor

"Meri jawani badi mast mast hai"

Paave singing to Sabri brothers' legendary tune "Teri Jawani Badi mast mast hai".

BETTER KULFI

"Yaahr..mein subah uthkar ek glass paani pee liya karta hoon "

PuPu when asked if he cares to come out for his daily ritual.

"Haan, nahi..matlab pata nahi yaar"

Marw when asked about his position on road from Baltimore to Philly.

"Apna to baat ho gaya tha naa ?"

Vcd when asked about the target while playing cricket at Aup's Mount Ridge house.

"Arre..aaj mujhe swing, pace, bounce and drift mila. Jab thak gaya to leg-spin daala..usme bhi googly,rippers, turners sab daal saka"

Aup's friend A ruminates over a satisfying day of "rubber-ball" cricket.

"I've left De Rossi to boil in his own soup. He's a fantastic guy but he must change his computer chip"

Marcello Lippi on Daniel De Rossi after the infamous elbowing incident.

THE HOLY GRAIL

"Vivek main tumhare liye apni jaan bhi de sakta hoon...magar mein bhagwaan mein vishwaas nahi rakhta"

Akshay Kumar to Sonu Nigam in Jaani Dushman.. take a bow!

For that matter every dialogue from Gunda is Kantiesque (in the true sense) but we have already had a discussion on that. I hope this is just a start and there are many many more to come.