Baltimore to San Francisco

(Go West) Life is peaceful there
(Go West) In the open air
(Go West) Where the skies are blue
(Go West) This is what we're gonna do [1]

[1] Pet Shop Boys
[2] Meghneel, refer 1

( Couldn't help myself :D )

Scene 2: Baltimore to Cleveland (Cleveland? THE WHYYYY?)

It is 7:00 pm, both Bhaiyya and Mike are very late to start off (so what's new?). At last, the last bag is in the car.

Narrator: On October 18th, 2005, Mike and Bhaiyya started the journey of a thousand miles with a single step; or the journey of three thousand four hundred and sixty two point one seven miles with the flick of the gear shift. The drive from Baltimore the Cleveland takes one through the states of Maryland, Pennsylvania and Ohio.

Mike: Hum log abhi is car ko really "fully loaded" kehe sakte hain!
Bhaiyya: Hahahahahahaha!
Mike: Chal boss, niklis, already late ho gaya hai, bhenchod jaisa, let's go, man!
Bhaiyya lowers his tone and his demeanor becomes deferential; talking about the hallowed Cigarette God always has this effect on Bhaiyya
Bhaiyya: Yaar, ek cigarette marke nikalte hain...
Mike: Yes, of KHourse!

Narrator: So after the mandatory salutations to the God, Mike and Bhaiyya are finally on their way to Cleveland at 7:05 pm. Generally, it would take sane men about 6 hours of non-stop driving to complete this 370 mile drive; it takes them only 5 hours and 15 minutes and that too after 45 minutes' worth of breaks in between.

Enter Sagar, Mike's friend living in Cleveland, studies at Cleveland State University.
Sagar: Kay re madarchod, kasa ahes? Mela nahis na vatet?
(Hey, mothafukka, wassup? Didn't have an accident and die on the way, did you?)
Mike: Nahi aai zavadya, nahi melo, tula marlya shivay ani azun ek don kama ahet ti kelya shivay marnar nahi me. (No, mothafukka, I won't die till I kill you, and there are a few other things that are preventing me).
Sagar: Hahahahaha!
Mike: Kya solid thandi hai idhar!
Sagar (heavy heavy marathi accent to his hindi): Arey haan, idhaar aisa thandi padneko shtart ho gaya hai. Raat mein to 45 degree tak jata hai.
Mike: Oh fuck! Itna jaldi itna thandi?
Sagar: Ho re, kay karnar, aliya bhogasi... (Yes, man, can't help).
Mike: Hmm, te hi kharach ahe. (Ya, that's true). Chal re gharat chal, nahitar thandi nech maraycho, gadi cha accident vhaychi garaz nahi padnar! (Let's go inside, otherwise we'll die of cold and you won't have to wait for me to die a horrible, terrible, gory and bloody death on the highway).
Sagar: Ho, I would rather that you die in a car wreck.. HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Mike and Bhaiyya: MADARCHOD! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

The trio make their way into the apartment building. It's a tall building in downtown Cleveland. It's okay, not too good, not too bad. 9th floor is Sagar's apartment (among others, of course). Sagar, Mike and Bhaiyya enter his apartment.

Mike: De reeeeeeeee, beer de!
Sagar: Aai ghalya adhi chappal tar kadh! (At least take your footwear off!)
Mike: Chappal kadhta kadhta beer peeto me! Lavkar de.
Sagar (refering to Mike's maniacal driving): Tumhi lok kaychakay lavkar alat re.
Mike: Ho ka? Mala nahi asa vatla. Beech mein mere gaadi mein ek bachcha rone laga, "Mummeeeeeee, bhoook lageeee haiiiiii!"
Narrator: This is a tangential and derogatory remark to Bhaiyya's hunger and the break that Mike and Bhaiyya had to take just 30 minutes into their trip due to this.
Bhaiyya: Haan, tu to kabhi khata hi nahi hai na, bhosade!
Mike: Haan, nahi khata huun.
Bhaiyya (imitating Mike): Bhosade mein ja re!
All: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

After a couple beers and six laac cigarettes later...

Sagar: Chal re me zopto, mala udya lavkar uthun Mugdha la kamavar sodayla zaychay.
Mike: Hmm, udya mala kahich kaam nahi ahe.
Sagar: HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Mike: Thamb re randechya, roz roz tula maza darshan milta ka?
Sagar: Thank GOD, nahi milat!

Translation
(
Sagar: Alrighty then, I am going to sleep, tomorrow I have to get up early and take Mugdha to work.
Mike: Hmm, tomorrow I have nothing to do.
Sagar: HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Mike: Wait you son of a whore, do you get to see me everyday?
Sagar: Thank GOD that doesn't happed!
)

After 5 hours of sleeping

Mike (getting up): It's 8:00 shit!
Sagar: You leaving now or later?
Mike: Let Bhaiyya get up, which will take another sixx yeeaaas. So my guess would be later.

After an infinite amount of time, which includes accompanying Sagar and his girlfriend (oops! fiancee) to her workplace, coming back, drinking chai and then showering, Bhaiyya and Mike are finally ready for the second leg of their journey!

Big B:- Hallowed be thy name

On account of GOD's bday on the 11th of Oct, Vishal and moi decided that we wud pose 11 questions to Freaks and post the results as a poll on the blog. The much-awaited results are as follows:

Fav Movie: (no real surprises here)
Sholay(4)
Deewar(4)
Amar Akbar Anthony(1)
Lawaaris(1) - (Kausum where the hell did that come from??)

Fav Song: (no clear fav here)
Tere jaisa yaar kahan(1) - aankh se aanso aa gaya ...
Yeh dosti hum nahin todenge(1) - Still remains the greatest hindi song on friendship.
Rang Barse(1)
jumma chumma dede(1) - amit rocks ... kimi ... growllllllll!
Pag Ghungroo baand(1) - classic amit ... brilliant song ... brilliant execution
Jaane Kaise Kab kahan(1) - Good song...nice choice bhaiyya
Kabhie kabhie(1) - (Balls' opinion ...zzzzz)
Inteha Ho Gayee Intezaar Ki(1)
My Name is Anthony Gonsalves(1) - Excoooz me puhlees.
Mere Agne mein(1) - Versetality of the man to the fore.

Best Performance: (again kinda a no-brainer between Deewar and Agneepath, though its a surprise not even one Freak went for Shakti)
Deewar(4) - one for the GODs ... stunner!
Agneepath(3) - pura naam vijay dinanath chauhan ... aaaahhh ... orgasm!
Sholay(1)
Anand(1) - (I thought Kaka stole the limelight here?)
Black(1)
Namak Halal(1) (i know it adds up to 11 ... not our fault ... we can count ... blame suraj, cos he couldnt make up his mind between agneepath and deewar)

Worst Movie: (most of these movies suck ... hard to pick one)
Mrithyudata(1) - couldnt have picked a worse comeback flick
Jaadugar(1)
Boom(1) - Katrina Kaif was gorgeous in this one ... ohh ... sorry no distractions ... back to the poll ... Katrina ... ohhhh so sexy ... slurrrp (censored)
lal badshah(1)
Kyoon..ho Gaya Naa(1)
Saudagar(1)
Shahenshah(1)
Bade Miyan Chhote Miyan(1) - (??? ... r u sure strikant it belongs here?)
Toofan(1) - double amitabh ... double the suckiness
Waqt - The race for exit doors

Fav Dialogue:
The popular choices:

Main aaj bhi feke hue paise nahin uthatha (4) - aaaaaah .... that classic .... numero uno ... and justified
Don ko pakadna mushkil hi nahin, naamumkin hai (3)
Tumhara naam kya hai Basanti(3) - the way he says it ... that mocking tone ... priceless!
jaoo pehle us aadmi ka sign leke aoo jisne mere haath pe ...(4) - cult status

The Critics picks (Vcd and Me :-))

Ma .. maine aaj haat dho liya hai - Agneepath(1)
Pagar Badhawo..Ye policewale ka pagar badhawo tum..sala itana paisa main ghar nahi chalata..Imaan kaise chalega - Agneepath(1)
Aaj apun ka mauth ke saath appanment hai ,,,English mein bolta hai ..kyaa- Agneepath(1)
Peter..tum mujhe dhund rahe ho aur mein tumhara yahan intezaar kar raha hoon- Deewar (2)
Pura naam, Vijay Dinanath Chauhan, baap ka naam, Dinanath Chauhan, Maa ka naam, Suhasini Chauhan, Gaon Mandwa. Umar Chatiis saal - Agneepath(2)

Basically this kinda shows us that most of Amit's memorable lines are from Deewar and Agneepath....and interestingly these two were voted as his best performances...put 2 and 2 together.


Amit/Jaya or Amit/Rekha (surprisingly close ...)
Amit/Jaya(6) ... Jaya u can relax now ... freaks have given the verdict
Amit/Rekha(4) ... Rekha ... too bad ... u r 2nd in line in the polls too ... but we guys are still hungry :-)))

Comedy/Drama or Angry
Angry(7) - lots of reasons given for this ... emergency ... unemployment ... frustration of the common man ... all these factors made him a superstar ... but the generation after that also chooses him and shows it was not just a phase ... it was the sheer brilliance on the man's part
Comedy(1) - we lost an actor with brilliant comic timing to this whole angry young man wave ...
All of the above(1) - its a poll ... choose one Yatin!!!

Which wud u have liked to see him in (some very very interesting ones in here):
Oskar Schindler(1)
Robert De Niro in Taxi Driver(1)
Andy Dufrene(1)
Godfather(1) - did a similar thing in sarkar ... but amit doing the original role would have been something else ... cos with due respect to RGV ... he is still no Coppola
Tyler Durden(1)
Gladiator(1) - Interesting choice bhaiyya.
Judah Ben Hur(1)
Jeffrey Lebowski(1) - hahahahahahaha ... good un Lookateem
Dustin Hoffman in Rain Man(1)
Al Pacino in Scarface(1) - KK has done it again...thought it was done in Agneepath!

Could he have taken on Hollywood
Definitely(9)
No(1) (Bhaiyaa's acting Lucifer here :-) )

Funniest role:
Chupke Chupke(6) - main jo keheta hu woh samjati hai ki tum keh rahe ho ... keheta main hi hu ... keheta main hi hu ... lekin woh tum jo main hu aur woh main jo tum ho ... woh main jo main ...(CLASSIC!)
AAA(3) - aisa to aadmi do ich baar bhagta hai life me, olympic race ho police ka chase ho ... tum kis ke liye bhagta hai bhai
Namak Halal(1) - Nice one Strikant ... easy to forget that one

Voice/Dialogue or On screen persona:
Screen Persona(4)
Dialog Delivery(2)
Voice (1)
All of the above(1) - Yatin does it again!
Eyes(1) - ye, that idiot is Vishal


Here's a toast to the greatest thespian ever to grace Indian cinema. Thanks for providing us with wholesome entertainmentduring our glory days and hopefully in the future too. U rule the roost...the true Badshah of Indian cinema...you have said it yourself in Kaalia :Hum jaha pe khade ho jaate hein, line wahi se shuru hoti hai. Happy B'day from Freaks.

-BALLS / VCD

Bloggers Kick Ass !!!

It had been a long hiatus since I started do some blog surfing to see what is happening at the hallowed world.

I started of with Gaurav's blog and I was surprised by the post on his blog, where he has left his job etc.

http://gauravsabnis.blogspot.com/2005/10/update.html

I remembered quite a while ago when I read the original blog about his comments on IIPM and was surprised as to why is the issue coming along now.

Then after a week, I return to the blogsphere and I have see a entire blog war started up. The media have quietly and silently stood and watching from the sidelines, but apna own Indian blogosphere is in quite a fight.

Have a dekho ...

http://www.desipundit.com/2005/10/08/lies-damned-lies-and-fake-blogs/

But, have we really come of age to really Kick Ass ? Can we take over the lofty institutes who blatantly polarize issues, hide facts, advertise non-existent stuff and promote ideals.

This is the inflection point of blogosphere, where how far can we stand for our Freedom of Speech. I also started reading some blogs which have sprung overnite to support IIPM.

However, I do stop and wonder, Can the blogosphere be also manipulated like other media outlets. We know the papers / the news .. Can the blogosphere maintain the sanctity of freedom of speech.

Not to mention " With great powers come great responsibilities" As we have freedom of speech (I thought so until I read the legal notice served by IIPM) we also have responsibilities to some extent.

On some of the finer points of all these controversies :-

1. Would like to meet the Legal Cell of IIPM
2. Would also like to know who and how did one notarize the e-notice. Quite a technical challenge to do all those things as mentioned.
3. How did IIPM get contact information about the blogger to serve legal notices.. Private information are basically not to be released as far as I know about the privacy contracts.

My heart goes out to the students of IIPM who would be the most affected. But hopefully, prospective students would carefully research in future before they take plunge ...

Baltimore to San Francisco

Scene 1
Outside Bhaiyya and Mike's apartment building. Smoking cigarettes by the dozen. It is morning, about 9:15 am on a Tuesday. Mike looks frustrated. Bhaiyya is laughing at Mike.

Mike: Anil Chandragupta madarchod hai re sala!
Bhaiyya: Hahahahahaha! Kaise?
Mike: Arey kal subah sala main dus baje pahuncha na, to mereko Chandragupta ka email aya tha, saying that 'Try to make it before 9:30'
Bhaiyya: Nahi nahi, ye barabar nahi hai re... Anyway, tere woh company ka kya hua? Relocation de rahe hain tereko?
Mike: Nahi na bhenchod saale. Lekin tune poochha tere friend ko ki kitna paisa lagta hai gaadi transport karwane ke liye?
Bhaiyya: Haan woh bola ki about barah sau rupaye lagte hain.
Mike: Oh fuck! Usse achha to main gaadi chala ke leke jaunga.
Bhaiyya: Hahahahaha!
Mike: Hus mat... soch na... it will be cheaper than transporting it and road trip ka road trip bhi ho jayega.
Bhaiyya: Haan re, actually teri baat mein dum hai.
Mike: Aur kya, kya bolta hai... ayega mere saath san fran gaadi mein?
Bhaiyya: Chal re jaate hain!

Barring a few censored out swear words towards Chandragupta, this was the gist of the conversation between Bhaiyya and me that spurred us on to decide to drive to San Francisco. It's going to be a great drive. I will write a day - by - day account of our travels and travails towards the city of San Francisco. So watch this space.

what if ...

some interesting what ifs ... maybe we could add a few of our own to this funny-in-parts list:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2005/09/29/AR2005092901881_pf.html

Super Series

I'm really interested in the forthcoming Super series set to begin tomorrow. A myriad of super and future stars clash against each other in a tasty little series. As always before a series I put forth my views and predictions.

Key battles:

1. Sehwag v/s Brett Lee
All of us know for a fact that Sehwag digs at a bowler hurtling the cherry at pace. He has many a time clobbered the likes of Shoaib in Pak, Bond in NZ and Lee in Aus. But Brett Lee comes around this time from a fairly successful Ashes series and holds the mantle for the Oz-destruct-act.
Prediction: Lee wins

2. Lara v/s Mcgrath
Heavyweights at work here. Has always been a mouthwatering contest with Mcgrath holding the upper hand in a lot of contests. But Lara is no Cullinan. He has the ability to destroy an attack but is certainly vulnerable initially where Mcgrath has got him squared up bowled or Lbw.
Prediction: Tie

3. Gilchrist v/s Flintoff
Its a fav with the Pom tabloid nowadays on how Gilchrist was Flintoff's bunny during the ashes. But hey Flintoff is a new kid on the block where Gilchrist has bullied for almost a decade. Gilly would be seething revenge and considering Flintoff's still dizzy state, he is in for a hiding here.
Prediction: Gilly pulling Flintoff back to roots.

4. Martyn v/s Muralitharan
Keeping in mind the indoor nature, I think that dew might play a factor. There would be no breeze, so the drift that Murali depends on be non-existant and that would hinder his performance. But as the 2nd and 3rd games arrive, the track would play slower and lower and should create ample problems for Martyn who, with all due respects is no Mark Waugh at playing spinners. He might have had a fantastic series against India...but sadly he isnt in the right mental state.
Prediction: Murali would edge it.

5. Ponting v/s Akthar
This un should be a classic. Akthar loves to hog the limelight...and this acts as a perfect platform. What better way than to kick the captain in the nuts when he is down. Ponting loves to cut and pull and he is one of the best at that. The SCG being generally slow, he would have more time to negotiate those snorters and this should be one of the highlight contests accoring to me.
Prediction: Ponting...he would be smarting to prove to the world that the Aussies are still the best.

I havent mentioned two modern day greats, Kallis and Dravid. They are blokes who shy away from the media where the rest I mentioned generally always fill up pages. They would quitely go about their task and bring sanctity to proceedings. My hunch is that the World XI would nick the series 2-1.

Man Of The Series: Jacques Kallis. (As much as I hate the guy...cant deny he is a class act)
Disappointment of the series: Pietersen (Mark my words he is going to be sorted out in the series)

Let the show begin!!!

-Balls

of numbers and statistics

reading a book called Moneyball which talks about Baseball and picking drafts and stuff like that. Came across this really nice paragraph on how and what numbers reveal.

"James later reduced his complaint to a sentence : fielding statistics made sense only as numbers, not as language. Language, not numbers is what interested him. Words, and the meaning that they were designed to convey. "When the numbers acquire the significance of language," he later wrote, "they acquire the power to do all of the things which language can do: to become fiction and drama and poetry. ... And it is not just baseball that these numbers, through a fractured mirror describe. It is character, It is psychology, it is history, it is power, it is grace, glory, consistency, sacrifice, courage, it is success and failure, it is frustration and bad luck, it is ambition, it is overreaching, it is discipline. And it is victory and defeat, which is all that the idiot sub-conscious really understands." "

In my opinion, atleast this is what we expect numbers to reveal. I am not completely sure if they always reveal the complete story.