Dear Mr. Sedator (Greg Chappell),
- Langdi – I can foresee langdi becoming a huge part of our practice session…and I have good reasons to believe so. A good portion of our ‘core’ players are over the hill viz. Sachin, Dravid, Klums, VVS (well fitness wise he was over the hill even on his debut). It is but natural for these players to suffer from cramps, hamstring pull etc during the course of a match. By regularly practicing langdi, they can show the world that they are a force to reckon with even on one leg. ‘Langdi sprints’ can improve running between the wickets under such circumstances. 10 yrs down the line I can foresee Sehwag trying to sell a Nimbus Production DVD “Langdability” to youngsters on TV – Kids, you want to know the secret behind my longevity in cricket? Watch the screen and you will understand why (Sehwag performing langdi..trying to catch a snail). Well kids don’t be distracted by my bouncing bosom…call now to receive this great TV offer…1800-LANGDI. Operators are standing by to whisk your father’s hard earned money.
- Lagori – Lagori has a gazillion advantages over most of the warm-up routines employed nowadays. First of all, scattering the stones requires pinpoint accuracy which comes in handy for tight direct hit situations. Secondly the quick sprints to gather the stones improves agility and reflexes…ultimately helping in pinching a quick second run. Third and most importantly, avoiding the opponent players throw while you are busy arranging the stones acts as the perfect simulation to evading some really mean bouncers. And as a side note: after the stones are arranged, chanting ‘Lagori…lagori…lagori’ in unison, aides in more vociferous and intimidating appeals to the umpire.
- Chor-Police (Not the chit version) - After all the physically strenuous practice sessions, chor-police would act a good brain cruncher to aid mental toughness. My proposal to you would be to split the team into two: Bowlers (Chor) and Batsmen (Police). The reason behind such a demarcation is for the bowlers to pose a tough and mean exterior and the batsmen to gain style and panache. Guys like Dravid and Sachin can act as the leaders of the Police force (Inspectors) and can foster the younger players like Raina and Dhoni (who can be Havaldars). Sehwag can be the ‘ek-mineet ke liye paan lene
I hope my suggestions are given due thought. It is my solemn pledge that un-wavering adherence to such a practice regime would physically and mentally toughen up our team, achieve unheralded success in the face of sky-high expectations and above all save your job. If you want to avoid the unfortunate situation of having to post your resume on Monster.com, please do give my letter a fair and just reading.
Balakrishnan.
14 comments:
Very funny post. Chappell is trying to do things the Aussie way a la chasing dogs in the Queensland mountains but hes forgetting a basic aspect of the training "Cricket". I personally think that the Lagori thing would bring in a lot of value addition because I can't remember the last time a throw from an Indian player hit the stumps when it actually matters
hagged
correction * matters = mattered
It's funny and sarcastic alright but I wonder how much blame should be ascribed to Chappell.
I think he's been working with Dravid towards building a team for the World Cup and thereafter. His motto has been simple - "Rope in young potentials, hone them and build a team for the future". His role is more strategic and I don't blame him for looking at the "big picture" than at the micro-managerial level. Maintaining fitness levels of players is the job of a physical trainer and, not to forget, our over-paid and overrated cricketers who don't seem to realize their responsibility of representing their country at the highest level as well as they realize the importance of putting make-up for their commercials!
The coach is as good as the team is and not vice-versa! If the players had played to their strengths and won, we would have hailed Chappell's avant garde inspirations from "The Big Book of Third World Sports" as ingenious. Sehwag has been chastised for throwing caution to the wind even by Chappell's predecessor but has there been any fundamental change in his approach? The media never writes an article on "A Day in Greg Chappell's coaching class" so we commoners judge his coaching abilities based on results. And it's not a fucking game of chess is it that a coach can control all pieces! It's a physical sport and the outcome of a game ultimately rests on how well the players apply themselves!
Twisting an old desi saying, "Players hi gaandu, to kya karega paandu!"
Honing youngsters for the future is all nice and dandy to hear. But getting integrating them seamless to ur unit is a different matter all together. It is the rigidness to stick to failed players albeit talented and consistently getting ur tactics wrong is what pisses me off.
1. Irfan Pathan has become a regular number 3 batsman when u have a hopelessly out of form Sehwag at the top and possibly the most consistent number 3 (Dravid) in the world on ur side.
2. Domestic performances count to nothing...can u explain the reason why S Badrinath is not preferred to Raina? Lets us not even talk abt Anil...possibly our best match winner.
3. As far as match tactics go...loads of instances where Chappell and Dravid have got it wrong...example the rain affected match at Kaula Lumpur...can't u just postpone the power plays?
4. I agree that the results are finally upto the players...but if u cant get to stem the rot and/or atleast put up a fight that has some much deeper implications than just individual player talents.
5. Man-Man you tell me if we arent more talented that the West indian side? And we cant even get to be the 2nd best side in a 3 a side tournament...its a shame.
Chappell has already been accused of experimenting too much. Shuffling players and bringing in new talent for a tournament that's touted as the "Mini World Cup" is not a smart idea. Raina has proved his mettle and he's a great value addition to the side for the shorter version of the game. I'd definitely not brush him aside, not yet!
Kumble, though in no way needs to prove his invaluable place in Indian cricket, IS getting older. It's become a money-making business and this reflects in the sheer volume of ODIs we are (or any other team is) playing in a calendar year. Do you think Kumble is up for living upto the rigors of the modern one day game and perform his key role in tests as well? He still might be, but don't you think it would mean pushing him that much closer to his shelf-life as a cricketer? Don't you think he would be a short-term value addition?
I do agree about Irfan though. They are simply confusing the poor chap and he's been asked to bite more than he can chew. But isn't it ALSO the captain's responsibility to realize what's working and what's failing and to restore order in his team? Or are we turning our back to this fact on account of Dravid's countless instances of match-winning/saving knocks?
Going by ur Argument...
1. When has Raina proved is mettle? No player should be in the team only based on fielding.
2. The idea of shunning the so called 'OLD' is a complete joke. You bring Kumble in and if he doesnt perform then fair enough please do remove him. I can give numerous examples of the so called 'OLD' people who perform consistently even now (both in tests and ODIs)...McGrath for one. You def shouldnot disregard a genius like Anil when he himself wants to be in the thick of action in both forms of the game.
3. And I am not turning my back on Dravid...he is equally culpable on all counts.
These are Raina's stats. Check out what positions he's played for and that would give you an idea as to the opportunity he's been given to settle down in a particular spot. I know he hasn't performed lately, but he's very capable of playing a Kaif kinda role and he's given a demonstration of the same in his earlier matches. It would be understandable to give him an ultimatum NOW and assess his performance in SA and decide his future on that basis.
I never said Kumble can't perform. I said his addition would be a short-term gain to our side.
Anyway, the onus lies with our batsmen who have been walking out to the middle suffering from diarrhea. Like I said, the team's not playing to its strengths.
Check what positions Bevan and Hussey play...and they have the ability to take the game by the scruff of the neck. I know its an unfair comparison...but u need to take ur chances. Dhoni hasnt been arnd for too long and he plays round about in the same position...but look at his stats.
If Kumble aids us in a bid to the WC, I dont care if its just short-term.
All this bickering abt Chappell doesn't add much...he is just a small footnote on India's 80 yrs of epic underachievement
Amen to the last few words in your comment!
And now, I think I should put in at least 2 hours of productivity at work.
Yatin: Its not a surprising thing that the coach has to take the blame and similarly also the credit in the team's losses and victories resp. But if you look at the money he pockets by coaching the Indian team it is more agonizing. We bid goodbye to John Wright because we wanted change and we believed that Chappell would work wonders with our team with his out of the box thinking. But, tell me man-man, didnt Wright's achievements with the Indian team speak for themselves. So, we traded a person getting paid atleast 60 grand a year less and with a volume of performances to speak of with a person who has not matched his hefty paycheck and lofty standards with noteworthy performances. Where's the logic?
Balls: Couldn't agree more with your last comment. Was browsing cricinfo and checking out Polly Umrigar's cricketing stats (may his soul RIP)and guess what..our much touted history of cricket cries aloud the same ol sentiment
"Tigers at home and lambs abroad". Sabhi greats of the game have beautifully hagged in England, Aus and WI..and now history and it is a full circle a la Constantine.
Aup: I agree the coach usually gets both ends of the deal. But I'm asking his critics to cast a look outside the realm of his coaching skills. If the players had applied every ounce of their abilities and we'd lost out on wins simply due to tactical and strategic flaws, I can understand castigation of the coach. And we're talking about the same coach whose intrepid experimentation had paid dividends in the early phases of his tenure and was lauded as well. Today we've got more or less the same bunch with which he'd revived the scene of Indian cricket some time ago, only this time, players have failed to apply themselves. After all, it takes two hands to clap!
I still think we are barking up the wrong tree. We would do better by pinning our hopes on discipline and fitness.
One thing to note is that his experimentation brought results but they were geographically constrained to the subcontinent.So even though it was a laudable performance we still got to take it with a pinch of salt. I also agree that we are raising the wrong questions but these questions cannot be stopped. After Chappel being instilled as coach these are the things that have happened;
1. Chandi was unceremoniously kicked out after a bitter battle with him.
2. VVS' and Klums' one-day careers were almost over.
3. Its taking us too long to come out of the through that we are in since the start of this year. Since we are repeating the same mistakes you cannot say that things are perfectly fine at the drawing board level.
That said, I agree with you on the discipline and fitness mantra. Personally I dont care about these pyjama tournaments that we've lost as long as we peak at the time of the World Cup. Either way, I am going to sell my tickets on eBay :-)
"Lets us not even talk abt Anil...possibly our best match winner." when was the last time klums was called by his first name .. ek ghanta laga figure out karne kaun hai anil .. hence the late comment .. :)
Maybe he should start pushing the Indian cricket team members in a similar fashion to the Aussies pushing Sharad Pawar off the dias in order to pose for pics ... WTF was that :-)
http://www.mumbaimirror.com/nmirror/Mirror%5C2006%5C11%5C8%5C2%5C1172006232255328117200623221218%5Cimages%5Cimgm1yr1.jpg
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